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Weak and strong

I am going through a divorce. Some days I feel like i am on top of the world. Like I know i am doing the right thing, because I was in an abusive relationship, other days out of the blue I start feeling worried, confused and sad for no apparent reason. Do you think the abuse I went through is having psychological affects on me? or is this normal? I don't know how I can miss someone who treated me so badly. Is there something wrong with me? Somedays I just start thinking of the mean things he would say or do to me and it makes me cry. When will this be over?

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Asked by divorced08 at 4:18 PM on Jun. 30, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (5)
  • I was abused in my relationship with my ex husband. It took me a while to realize that I wasn't to blame and that this is in the best interest of my children. I don't want my son to grow up and think that it is ok to hit a women and I don't want my daughter to think that it is ok to be a man's punching bag. Each time I looked at my children I was reminded that I did what was best for US.

    Answer by shellygail at 4:41 PM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • There is something called Trauma Bonding that occurs in abusive relationships. It is normal. It will take time to get through this. Over time he has taught you to doubt yourself. You said you know it's the right decision. Listen to that inner voice. If you need me PM me or visit my group for women in abusive relationships. Sometimes getting over them isn't as easy as just leaving them. Hugs

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:55 PM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • Hi, It gets better and better and better. Hang in there. What you are experiencing is normal, I was in the same situation and went back to my abuser once - realising after a month that it was all the same again - a massive big mistake. I have been on my own for two and a half years and although things do get tough sometimes it gets easier. I used to have a journal in which I would rationalise my feelings, once things are on paper its out of your system for a while and you can get on with things, thinking of you - all the best x

    Answer by busymum66 at 7:02 PM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • its normal. a divorce is an emotional thing. ride them out, and know, absolutely, you did the right thing by leaving.

    Answer by princezzmommie at 11:00 PM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • You are right where you are supposed to be. I mean ,you loved him and he hurt you ,you left hun because it was no longer good to stay, not because you failed at loving him. It is not your fault and of course you miss what you could not change. That is why so many woman stay they are sure if only they scrambled the right egg he would have stopped or if only I was'nt this or that ect...
    It will pass, hold on to friends and family and use us at cafe moms it is a great support and we will give you the stick you'll need to get through this tough time. It will pass and before you know it you will be a pillar in another woman's life. I am sorry your hurting but on the other side will be a rainbow, promise!

    Answer by rosetoes at 2:25 PM on Jul. 1, 2008

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