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My daughter who is 6 doesn't wanna listen to anything I say!!! Please Help!!

We fight about everything to burshing her teeth.. To going to bed, and everything else under the sun... I wanna say that we can really get in to fight about her just throwing a tantrum about everything and anything... It is getting to the Point where my 1 year old is picking it up... I need some advice please!!! I want good advice not the haters!! Thanks

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Lastarr9193

Asked by Lastarr9193 at 11:42 PM on Aug. 30, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 3 (13 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • just curious - personally and seriously... how.. on EARTH did you convince yourself to have another child when you had a child you fought with and butted heads with until now?? or did this just start once you have another baby?~! This is not a bash I promise.. maybe the answer to my question one day lol!~
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 11:44 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • She started when her father and I split up... Now my new Husband and I just had two girls!! I would have to say that I knew this was going to happen... But I think it might have to do with her real father never being around and my husband now is always there for them.. My husband now doesn't treat her any differ.. thats for sure he treats her like his own...
    Lastarr9193

    Comment by Lastarr9193 (original poster) at 11:47 PM on Aug. 30, 2010

  • six is too old for that kind of behavior. Tell her to knock it off or she loses everything. Then when she throws a fit, follow through. She can earn things back each times she behaves with out fussing.

    and make a big deal about her being good.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 12:01 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • WOW. okay. you need to tell life to slow down. new husband, two new kids, divorce, father not around- and she seems upset? go figure.
    Okay, I am going to be bossy.
    1. She is your CHILD, not a peer. you are not, will not, cannot be her friend, not if you want to help her. NEVER argue with her again. Tell her what she must do, when she must do, and what will happen if she doesn't. then FOLLOW THROUGH.
    pat7879

    Answer by pat7879 at 12:15 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • I would not argue with her. I would explain to her what is going to happen if she does not do as she is supposed to and follow through. I would make sure it was something that I COULD follow through with. For example "good morning sweeite, before we have a big fight I just want to let you know that I will not argue with you today...if you decide to do what you are not supposed to, you WILL stand in the corner for 15 minutes. I will set the timer and you will stand there until it goes off. When she tries to fight you, make her stand there....when she tries to argue with you about it put her in the corner and walk away. If she continues to try to fight you, you can then take her arm and escort her to her bedroom where you could instrust her to sit on her bed until she is ready to come out and behave like the nice person you know she can be. I don't know if it will work for you but is is a suggestion! Good luck
    Peajewel

    Answer by Peajewel at 12:19 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • I pushed enter before I finished.
    2. NEVER back down and NEVER act mad. state the fact and leave it that.
    3. She needs every ounce of consistancy she can get and it needs to come from you, no matter how stable new Daddy is, you are her foundation. Every bit of structure you give her is SECURITY and she is yelling, screaming, and demanding that you give it to her.
    So make a schedule for her to follow every day. Tell her she will follow it from making her bed to getting dressed to helping with dinner to taking a bath. If she doesn't, she can't watch tv or play Wii or whatever she loves to do. But if she does, she gets your smile and encouragement and maybe even an allowance- you know?
    pat7879

    Answer by pat7879 at 12:21 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • With all the things and new situations going on she is finding herself not to be the center of attention. She feels neglicated (not saying you are)..Kids need stability and structure... all those things have shaken it and she is acting out.. Let things calm down and get a system going... Make sure you carve out time for just you and her letting her know that she is still very important to you and that you still love her. Not all acting out means the child is being a brat or spoiled. Show her love and affection and let her know that no matter what you guys are going through you will ALWAYS be there for her and she can come to you for anything. Hope this helps!
    TwistedMama27

    Answer by TwistedMama27 at 12:25 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • keep strong and keep consistent. . . life is a challenge and parenting isn't easy. My 7 y.o. acts out a lot. . . we just had two major moves in the last year and a whole life change with it. . . change causes stress and everyone has a freak-out. . . I know my DD's attitude is from the stress. . . I am sure yours' is due to the same, stress. Bear with it for now and keep strong. Show her she is loved. Try not to argue, I know it can be hard to do. . . But just try and talk to her. . . you are her mother! You are FAMILY! GL
    Kirs

    Answer by Kirs at 5:11 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • You have to give her a punishment that is bigger and keep making them get bigger and longer until she cannot not bare it any longer. Do not let up. Try not to react to her temper tantrums. I know it is hard and you may not always be able to not react. Just try your best and give her the punishment right away. If you send her to her room make sure there is nothing in there like TV or toys she can play with. You'd want her to think about what she has done and if that does not work like I said add new punishments on top of it. Extra chores, no visiting friends, etc..... she has to know that you will not tolerate any type of attitude at all.

    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 5:31 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • I am very sorry to say, but I would not follow most of this advice. PLEASE get a book called "Boundaries with Kids" by Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend. Stay strong, powers struggles will get you nowhere it's a vicious cycle until you stop it in it's tracks. Kids need security by knowing who the boss it, and they need mom to be the boss...and right now you are struggling. We all struggle at some time in our lives with different things, so pointing fingers and criticism will not help. And as far as i understand it you came here for help! Please go out and buy the book, it's amazing! And if you are serious, and follow what it says, your and your daughter's lives will change tremendously. Good Luck girl!! :)
    MartaJoy

    Answer by MartaJoy at 8:17 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

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