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2 Bumps

What to say?

So the other night DH and I got into an arguement and yelled at each other and I ended up hanging up the phone on him. We didn't speak until today, 3 or 4 days later. He says he's the one who always talks and now it's my turn. He's not "fixing" this. I've apologized but he says he doesn't want an apology. I don't know what to say to him about this. I was wrong, I admitted it but he says "you know what you need to say". And I HONESTLY don't know what the hell he wants me to say and it's very frustrating. He likes to talk about everything and I'm the one who wants to just forget about it and move on but he said it's not happening this time. I hate fighting with him and dragging crap out for days but I don't know how to make this better. Any advice, ladies?

 
dmdblleb

Asked by dmdblleb at 12:42 AM on Aug. 31, 2010 in Relationships

Level 19 (6,513 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • 3-4 day silent treatments are not good for anyone.
    Maybe you can start by saying that "Let's not do the silent treatment anymore. It makes me feel awkward, sad and lonely."

    This is how miserable couples end up not speaking to each other for years. One is silent, the other gets tired of being the first one to break the silence... year pass and no one remembers what they were mad about, but the silence has become routine. Stop it now. If you need a break you take an hour or two to calm down and gather your thoughts. Make some new rules for how to argue fair.
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 1:40 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • that sounds EXACTLY like me and my hubby.....backwards....i talk he forgets about it.....sit down and discuss it is all I can say and let em know you honestly don't know what to say
    HTMommy

    Answer by HTMommy at 12:44 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • You can't fix it if you don't know how. Tell him to quit being a girl and tell you.
    crazymom21

    Answer by crazymom21 at 1:06 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • I've told him "I don't know what you want me to say to you". He says "You always do this. You won't talk to me." It's not because I don't want to, it's because I don't know what to say when we have a dispute. He's so much better at this than me and I feel like a little kid who's being chastised although I know that's not how he means it. *Sigh* I just wish I knew how to respond better and with less anger when we're having an arguement.
    dmdblleb

    Comment by dmdblleb (original poster) at 12:49 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • It doesn't sound like he understands the fact that you really genuinely don't know what to say....
    HTMommy

    Answer by HTMommy at 12:52 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Insulting him doesn't get me very far except to start a new arguement.
    dmdblleb

    Comment by dmdblleb (original poster) at 1:09 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Are you guys always this bad at communication?
    Maybe he wants you to beg him for forgiveness. I'm just throwing that out there as a possibility.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 7:09 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • No one is a mind reader. It sounds like you want to fix things but he expects something that is unrealistic. I would just tell him that you are willing to do whatever it takes but he needs to tell you what that is. Period. It's called communication. After things settle down have a frank talk with him about silent treatments. They kills a marriage. It doesn't make sense to drag out a disgreement for days.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 7:47 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

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