Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

husband made a comment that i can't get over even though he apologized. why can't i get over it adult content

the night i went into labor i was very constipated and ended up pooping during delivery which is normal and i didn't care that it happened. my husband saw, he knew and i knew and i was ok with that. (this was a month ago). a few days ago we were watching House. there was a scene in the bathroom where this guy was struggling to poop and House said "Jesus are you taking a dump or giving birth" my husband laughed and said "you did both" my mood went to sad very quickly. he saw that i was upset and i finally told him that he made me feel like a joke cause that was embarrassing and he didn't have to bring it up. he apologized for hurting my feelings but now i just can't stop thinking about it and i cry over it cause that comment means that that's what he remembers from the birth and i feel humiliated being around him. he acts no differently and i wanna get over this. he didn't mean harm but i can't stop reliving the birth now

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:44 AM on Aug. 31, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • It sounds like you feel kinda "kicked when you were already down" its kinda how guys speak before they think, and I am sorry, my hubby has said some stupid shit to me too, are you thinking subconsciously that he may be having other thoughts like these? Is it possible that you may be suffering from Post Pardom Depression? That can occur months after the baby is born.....I hope no matter what that you find your solution...
    HTMommy

    Answer by HTMommy at 1:48 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • He sounds just like my husband, stupidity just rolls out of his mouth. They dont mean it, guys always find poop funny! He prob remembers a poop joke he heard five years ago. Just remember that wasnt his only memory from the birth, its just the one to come out of his mouth!!!
    Casumael

    Answer by Casumael at 1:49 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Oh, I am so sorry! Don't worry sweetie, all guys can be total jerks. They love to tell gross jokes, and your husband just couldn't pass up the opportunity to try and make a "joke" about what happened. I'm sure that's not the only thing he remembers from the birth...

    Just think- it happens all the time! Don't be embarrassed. He should be ashamed for making you feel bad about it.
    Parker_B

    Answer by Parker_B at 1:50 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • You poor thing. Husbands don't usually think before speaking, even when they are meaning no harm. Its just testosterone I guess. Tell him again how bad he's made you feel and remind him you are still overly sensitive with hormones. I did the same thing during delivery with my second baby and dh saw. He made this face like eww but I probably would have too. He never said anything else about it though. I don't think he was offended but I bet for anyone it would be hard to look at poop on someone and not be a tad grossed out. The dr came in the room right after it happened and he got annoyed and told the nurse to clean me up. He was a jerk though(the dr). Anyways, you gave birth and that makes you a hero. Having a bowel movement is no more gross than afterbirth or umbilical cords or anything else. Its all part of it. Babies poop n themselves for at least 2 years and no one gives them a hard time lol!
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 1:52 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • well the head came out before the poop so my husband didn't see it til afterward and by then he was too excited about the baby that he didn't say anything.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:56 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Men are dumbasses! And they always say the worng thing at the wrong time. He was probably making a joke. GAH! Men are dumb. My sister is a L&D nurse and she said that most women poop during delivery, so tell him that.

    Sorry! I found a little pic for you. You should totally print it out and put it in his car with a note about how much his little rude remark hurt your feelings and that he needs to figure out how to make it up to you...
    foot in mouth Pictures, Images and Photos
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 2:05 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • he knows that cause that's what he said when he was trying to make me feel better "you're not a joke, it's part of giving birth" but it's still humiliating
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:07 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • i know its a terrible joke, especially when he knows u are embarased by the whole poop sits, my advise is not to take such jokes too personal, dont let it spoil, if he has appologised, he knows better than to say such a foolish thing like that again, forget and go on dear, life is too short.
    ashley387

    Answer by ashley387 at 3:07 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • I don't think that's all he remembers from the birth - in fact, I would bet on it, and the reason I say that is BECAUSE he made a comment like that. Here's why I say that - If it bothered him that you pooped during delivery (which, like you said, isn't uncommon), and if that was all he remembered / the biggest memory about it - then it would bother him. If it bothered him, then he wouldn't have made a passing joke about it. The very fact that he did joke about it says that it was a small, unimportant part of it, and the fact that he apologized also shows that the birth, and your feelings, are what's the most important to him.

    I know it's hard, and I know that a month after delivery, your hormones and emotions are probably still all out of whack, but I would just try to let it go and take it as him just sticking his foot in his mouth, with no deeper meaning to it than that.

    (((hugs)))
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 6:33 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Sorry IMO you are being too sensitive. So what he said you did both, guess what you did do both. Who cares.
    gulfcoastmom4

    Answer by gulfcoastmom4 at 6:58 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN