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How do I release the mental block of he's too old for me but he is good to me

I am 32 years old with 2 daughters 12 and 10. I date off and on this guy who is 48. That is a huge age difference to me. He also has a 12 year old daughter and a son 18 in college and they adore me and i adore them. I have 1 hang up and that is his age difference. What should I do? He is very well ground and an ordained minister. He loves to be music and isn't isolated to Church but loves to do things with me and my girls. He wants to marry me and my kids. I don't know how to release the age problem that hangs up in my mind. What do i do

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:58 AM on Oct. 11, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • Honey at this point age is just a number. If you love him and he loves you and the kids are fine. I hate to be hard on you but get over it. You are not a young teenager dating an old man. Your past that point now. So it doesnt matter anymore.
    I am going to pray for you. you should be so happy to have found a great man to accept you and your kids. and to love all of you at the same time. Good for you!! And God bless you and your family.

    Answer by MamiSanford at 11:03 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • Oh, girl.. I'm 35 married to a man 50 years old.. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me and my kids!! IF you let the age stop you from being happy, then you may never be happy! To me age is just a #. If you want someone to talk to about this just message me. I'll be happy to lend a ear.. Good luck to you..

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 11:07 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • Well, my husband is 8 years younger than me and I have no problems. So what that you are younger. Age is just a number anyway.Does it really matter when it comes to love? NO. Look you could meet someone your age or around that and he could be the biggest weenie in the world,or you can keep what you have and thank God everyday that he was sent to you. Don't take life for granted , ok, you never know what tomorrow may bring. Age is nothing. Life is important. The only question now is and I didn't read it in your question. Are you in love with him? If the answer is yes, then you have no problems.

    Answer by Kat122 at 11:08 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • I never understood the problem with age unless it was an older man trying to get some teenage girl to mold her into some Stepford woman. You are of an age where he can love and appreciate you for all that you are. God sent you a blessing with this man. If you refuse it over age then what a shame that would be. Some women never find a good man no matter the age. You have one and have a problem with it. I hope you work that out.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:17 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • If that is the worst of your problems, you are darn lucky. What is it about the age? Is he not very attractive to you because of it? Are you afraid that he won't be able to perform sexually (if you haven't already)? Is it because you worry what others will think? You should try and pinpoint the reasons for your anxiety about it and then work to eliminate those reasons if they are surmountable.

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 11:26 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • The first thing I would do is ask this simple question: "Do you love him?" If you answer yes then go for it.

    My hubby and I have been married for almost 15 years. He is 16 years older than me and has 4 children from a previous marrige. We have 3 children together. The key for any marriage is that you have to work at it. It can never be one-sided and there needs to be mutal respect for the others opions and views. That was one hard lesson for me to learn. I realize now that we do not have to agree on every single detail but we do need to come to an understanding.

    Are there things I would chnage?? Of course there are, we are human. But at the end of the day, I am so thankful that I can go home to him and our family.

    He loves you & your children and that is a great thing at any age!

    Answer by Karen_mom_of_3 at 12:29 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • I'm 24 and my hubby's 37. I love the age difference! A generation between you makes for interesting convo and opinions! Just look at it this way, would you want age to come between you and your soulmate?

    Answer by mmmommy0207 at 12:46 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • Wow, I just read everyone's answers and not one person encouraged you to go with your gut. If it bothers you now, it will always bother you at some level.. Something inside you is telling you it doesn't feel right, the age thing may or may not be the ultimate answer. Age difference can and does have pros and cons. Just because it doesn't matter to some people, it bothers you. LISTEN TO YOURSELF AND STOP DOUBTING YOUR FEELINGS. He may be great guy, he's just not right for you, and you are probably not right for him either despite the fact you like each other.

    Answer by barkingsocks at 1:29 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • My husband of less than a year and a half is almost 15 years older than me, and if you want a complex, his oldest daughter is less than 8 years younger than me! However, I don't let that bother me much. He's the best thing that ever happened to me. We were friends for many years before we got together, and the only thing I regret is that we didn't get together sooner.

    Don't let your chance at happiness slip away. You'll regret it if you do. Like the other ladies said, age is just a number at our age (over 21). We're old enough to know what we want. Ask yourself this: if he were five years younger, would you hesitate? If the answer is no, go for it anyway!

    Answer by rhope4 at 2:41 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • I think you should let the age issue go, I really don't think it's that big of a difference at this age. My dh is 9 years older than me and we get along great, we have combined our family, totally enjoy our large combined family. I hope you are able to get past the age thing, it sounds like he's a wonderful man for you.

    Answer by robinann5 at 2:44 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

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