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How do I tell my mother that this is my house without being disprespectful

My mother had to move in with me and my 2 girls after her house was taken over by mold. My youngest daughter gave up her room so that my mother could have her own space. How do I get her to understand that i am the mother and what i tell my girls to do they have to do? how do I tell my mother that if they want to do something and i say it is okay that they can do it without her undermining smy role as their mother. There is just me mom and the 2 girls 10 and 12. She is sick right now with some heart issues and cysts on her ovaries and blames my girls for her being sick because they are hard headed and wont listen. I don't want to have to chose between my mother and my girls because it would be my girls. She keeps my girls after school and when i have to leave town for work. I pay her to stay with me. 300.00 she doesn't contribute anything to the house. she is 56 years old but now that she is sick what am I to do.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:05 AM on Oct. 11, 2008 in General Parenting

Answers (3)
  • You can still be respectful and honest with her. Let her know how you feel. Honestly it sounds a little like she is taking advantage of your love for her. She probably isn't even aware that she is doing it.
    You need to explain to her why you feel that she is undermining you. And if she is gonna live there and help with your girls then you two need to work as a team.
    P.S. Don't let her guilt trip your girls about her illness, that's not fair to them. Maybe they won't listen because they know their mom should be telling them what to do. :)
    evilabbysmom

    Answer by evilabbysmom at 11:10 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • You need to tell you mom how you feel. I've always been a straight forward person, and if I'd have something to say I'd just say it.. I wouldn't do it in front of your girls. But I would tell your mom the "house rules". Its YOUR house and YOUR rules. Oh, and I would NOT go for your mom blaming your kids for her being sick.. Good luck to you!!
    honeys_sugamama

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 12:28 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • You need to have a "sit down and come to Jesus" with this woman! Just tell her you love her so much, and you love having the influence of an older generation for your girls, but you will always have the last word when it comes to them and that your word is law. Just be honest!
    mmmommy0207

    Answer by mmmommy0207 at 12:35 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

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