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What to do?

When me and my husband found out I was pregnant, my mother in law was furious. We were happy but she said she felt like my husband didnt really want kids. He did. Shes been so hurtful (my daughter is now 10 months) Shes called me a bad mother to my face (because I let her cry herself to sleep once) she criticizes everything I do like the way I put diapers on, the way I feed her, EVERYTHING. My husband has been so oblivious, and one day I just cried because I feel all alone in this. He finally talked to her about it. Well, since that, she NEVER calls, never wants to see the baby. My husband has brought us to my in laws house a few times. They don't want to hold her or talk to her or anything. Im happy not going there at all, but I feel bad for my husband because he wants the relationship like my family has with our daughter with his family. I just feel stuck.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:14 AM on Oct. 11, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I can see my mother-in-law doing the exact same thing. My husband and I have already discussed the possibilty thoroughly. We've agreed that, should anything happen, we cut our losses and just focus on being the best parents that we can. I'm sorry that you're going through this. If it were me, I wouldn't try to mend the relationship, but if you feel your daughter would be better off with her grandmother, then I would try to work it out. Just you, your hubby, her, and her hubby should talk. I hope everything works out for you.
    KatieBatey

    Answer by KatieBatey at 11:28 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • Honestly, I'd be frank and forward with your inlaws. I would go over with my DH n Baby. And call em out on their behavior. I would flat out say "Why do you not want anything todo with your grandchild? She is your family too. you can hate me if you do hate me but why take it out on her? She has done nothing but be born." See what they say. That'll shock the hell out of em. Good luck and God Bless.
    MamiSanford

    Answer by MamiSanford at 11:21 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • Sounds like you MIL is just pissed off cuz she doesn't get her way.. She is the one losing in the situation. You are having another child and you are happy about it. Keep being happy about it. Your husband will deal with his feelings about his mother. I wouldn't let her sway the way I feel. IF so, then she is winning by controlling you. Live your life and be happy. Your MIL will come around or she'll be the one missing out on all the wonderful things in your children's lives.. Good luck to you!
    honeys_sugamama

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 11:33 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • These are toxic people. My SIL is toxic and some members of my own family are troublesome as well. It's sad to say, but the best action can be inaction. Just get through the visits and conversations without drama. Do not allow what they do or say to fester inside. You will never-ever change these people. Once I took on this attitude and stopped trying to please everyone, my life became more peaceful. Have a blessed relationship with your husband and children, love can grow from that. Your MIL may or may never realize her errors...I hope she opens her eyes soon. Best wishes.
    kya143

    Answer by kya143 at 11:43 AM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • Ya Ive had the same problem and DH always sticks up for her. Well finally the other day we fought cause he wanted us to move in with her, which would NEVER happen, and he got pissed because I said no way. For the first time he admitted that she was a bitch to me but told me I should just get over it! So I dont think Im gonna have to be around her much anymore but now he said hes gonna start taking the baby to see her more. Well I really dont like this. I dont want her around my kid. And I would feel bad for my DH cause I know he wants our baby to be around his family but hes just such a dick about everything, I cant feel bad. At least your DH stands behind you. Trust me, if he didnt, things would be a lot worse!
    JoonBug21

    Answer by JoonBug21 at 12:05 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • Invite your MIL over for lunch one day maybe while your husband is at work. Take her to lunch even. I would even actually ask her opinion on something that has to do with your daughter. She is 10 months...maybe getting off the bottle soon? Ask your MIL how she did it with her son? Even if you have to make something little up... If she makes any snide remarks, ignore them, smile and just let her know that you would like her input. Then thank her for her help. Call her in a few days and let her know that it worked or that it didn't so what does she think about it. She just wants to be needed.
    mom2queenie2004

    Answer by mom2queenie2004 at 12:51 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • well his family is being silly. so let them and after awhile they won't be able to keep it up much longer will break down. how could they not!
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 2:24 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • Really I feel this is an issue your dh must solve. I think he did the right thing by standing up for you. It's their lose if they don't form a relationship with your dd. You don't need negative people in your life, if that's the way they are then be glad their aren't real involved.
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 2:41 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • Good riddance. Live your life, take care of your daughter, don't worry about it. Let your DH deal with it.
    richgirljj

    Answer by richgirljj at 3:26 PM on Oct. 11, 2008