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why am i a horrible mother?

I try to keep the house up, cook decent meals for the children, help them with homework and other things, stand by they, support them in their extra cirricular activities help at their school. But it seems like they just walk all over me and Im worthless and no good for nothing but cleaning up behind them, doing their laundry and feeding them. Well today the oldest have been so damn ugly to me that I told them they couldnt eat anything from this house today they could only have water. I will feed myself and youngest but I will be damed if Im going to do their laundry and them eat the food I bust my but to cook when they are being so damn ugly. Am I wrong?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:51 PM on Oct. 11, 2008 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • I think that depends on how old your oldest children are. My mom taught us how to do chores from a very young age, including laundry. I've known how to make huge meals by myself since I was twelve. At the very least, they should know how to make peanut butter and jelly by now - a normal, nutritional sandwich that kids should eat anyway (of course not always). Maybe if they have to eat that or bologna sandwiches more often, they'd appreciate what you do. My kids will be doing their own chores as well. They have to learn to be responsible ... show them how, then let them do it. I'm sorry your kids are a pain! Hope things get better.
    KatieBatey

    Answer by KatieBatey at 12:59 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • Well i cant say if you are wrong or not when you dont say how old your kids are. The age of your kids does matter a lot in this case.
    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 1:00 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • They are 15 and soon to be 14

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:03 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • Oh, they should definitely be doing their own stuff, mama! Set them straight!
    KatieBatey

    Answer by KatieBatey at 1:05 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • Well, you need to put your foot down. Stop being their chef, limo driver and everything else. They need to learn respect or get nothing in return. They are at a hard age, but, that doesn't give them the right to disprespect you.Believe it or not, if you let them get away with it now, they are going to be piss poor adults. And you don't want that. If they don't do what you ask, then you can't hear them when they ask anything.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 1:10 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • PS. YOU ARE NOT A HORRIBLE MOTHER. A horrible Mom wouldn't give a crap about what their kids do and wouldn't even worry like you are.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 1:11 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • I worked with teens, as a teacher in special ed. These teens had fairly severe behavioral issues. One good thing about their behavior is that they know they're loved and feel safe with you or they wouldn't be so blatant with the disrespect.
    However, I agree that there should be zero tolerance for disrespect. Start by asking them why their behavior really isn't OKAY AT ALL. They may come back with another disrespectful answer. However, respond by giving them a choice. "I can't make you change your choice of behavior. However, if you choose to act that way then you're choosing to give up the perks of being in our family.
    FamilyCoach

    Answer by FamilyCoach at 1:35 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • 14 and 15 yrs old. Take everything you have bought them clothes, games, shoes, beds. And make them realize what you have done for them. If my 6 y/o can wash clothes, dishes, sweep and mop and clean up after himself then teenagers can. No, my son doesn't do it on a regular basis but, he asked to learn so I taught him.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 2:30 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • 14 and 15... it's time for them to see what you really do for them. They are both old enough to clean up after themselves, wash there own clothes, and fix there own food... let them do it for awhile. Any extra's.... make them work hard for it. They will learn to appreciate you and what you do for them. They will not like it at first but in the long run they will learn. I was a single mom who had to work full-time. My son is now 20..but he does know how to cook and wash his clothes and clean up after himself.. he has been doing this since he was 15... he was cooking at 14.
    bonn777

    Answer by bonn777 at 3:21 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • You are not being a horrible mother, children need chores and discipline. I don't know how old your kids are but my if my 15yr old wants clean clothes he needs to wash them. My girls are 8 & 10 and the have chores also on top of cleaning up after themselves. You are not a maid and don't let them treat you like one.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 3:59 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

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