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3 Bumps

Am I being a bad friend?

Very good friend of mine has been engaged 5 times. 4 different guys, 2 rings (that didnt come from the guys, she bought them), and for the last planning wedding I spent $140 on a bridesmaids dress that I was unable to return at the time that the wedding was cancelled. The whole thing is getting very old. Now I live in another state and I have been giving my opinions on wedding dresses that she sends me pictures of, although i'm sitting back kind of rolling my eyes since this is NOT the first time we've picked dresses out. She says she can't use any of her other dresses because it doesn't feel right using a dress that was meant for some other guy. Ok.. guess I understand. So she calls me the other night to tell me they decided to get married in NOVEMBER. That gives me 3 months notice. I told her I am sorry but I am not so sure I will be able to make it down there for that with only 3 months notice, plus my husband is.. cont.


Asked by Ctink8189 at 10:33 AM on Aug. 31, 2010 in Relationships

Level 21 (11,991 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • You may be a GOOD friend to her but she's being a total prat. Tell her that if she wants you to come at all she can foot the bill for the dress. You shouldn't be traveling that late in your pregnancy and your husband is leaving.While it is her "wedding" she should realize the world doesn't revolve around you and though she may be upset she'll get over it if you don't show up. Your health is much more important than forking out more money on a dress that you might not even wear.

    Answer by ajbrownies at 12:57 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Sounds reasonable to me. Surely she knows about the twins and deployment. A person can only expect you to drop everything so many times.

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 10:38 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • I would absolutely tell her to blow it out her bouquet at this point.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 11:01 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Even without the history, you are pregnant with twins and your DH is deploying. A good friend would understand that - she's a dingbat.

    Answer by Scuba at 11:45 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • You need to tell her how you feel..that is the only way of getting a true answer from her...You are not a bad friend, she actually might be the bad friend...Best of luck with the twins!

    Answer by BradensMom1026 at 12:42 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • ..deploying in November but we do not know dates of his deployment yet. I will also will entering my 3rd trimester with TWINS at that time and honestly I don't know if I can put up the extra money for ANOTHER dress. If this is REALLY going to happen for her this time then I truly am excited. But I feel that I cannot just make life stop everytime she thinks she is getting hitched. I didn't tell her with these words exactly of course.. but I did just explain that I have alot going on here and I really don't think I will be able to make it but I wish her all the best. Well.. she's PISSED. For the life of me I cannot understand why. I am not trying to be hurtful but sometimes you just have to say enough is enough. Is this unreasonable??

    Comment by Ctink8189 (original poster) at 10:36 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • I writing without the cont. But I would say no. You have to take care of you and sometimes that means getting off your friends rollercoaster.

    Answer by van5 at 10:37 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Sometimes people don't see what you have going on. I would have said no based on the pregnancy and the hubby deploying, regardless of how many times she has been engaged. Good friends will see that you really have a full plate, it may take some time though.

    Answer by Mommy2Gabrielle at 10:41 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Yes SHE'S being an unreasonable and bad friend. Not you. It may be time to re-evaluate the friendship. She should stop buying dresses and rent them instead. You can't be expected to drop everything and attend to her. She'll get over it.

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 10:45 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • She is being selfish. Maybe you need a friend that cares about you, your soon-to-be-here babies, your hubby being deployed??
    Let her be pissed, you have too much on your plate without worrying about a self absorbed "friend" and her narcisstic needs.
    Congrats! by the way :)

    Answer by chefronswife at 11:00 AM on Aug. 31, 2010