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should I tell my father i was sexually abused as a child by his 2 brothers now that Iam 30years old?

I am a mother of a 1 month old baby boy and recently i have been contemplating wether I should confess to my 55 year old father that i was sexually abused by two of his brothers and 1 of my mothers brothers when I was very young... age 7-13 .... I had told my mother then, but she called me a lier and the abuse continued.... so now im 30 years old and I feel so uncomfortable when ever there is a family gathering because those uncles come over.... and Ifeel even more angry and uncomforatable because I have my baby.... and I dont understand why my mother allows them in the house even after I told her as a child and recently as an adult.. my sisters know but they suggested I keep it to my self because both my mother and father have had a heart attack on two occasions and telling MY FATHER would cause them stress.... my fear is that my father will do the same thing my mother did... act as if it never happened..how should I feel?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:11 AM on Aug. 31, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • You should feel however the situation makes you feel. Angry, upset, and hurt would be the first few on my list. You should tell him if that is what you need for closure. I would also inform them that if those men are going to be there then you won't. You may miss out on a few gatherings but what is that compared to your level of security. I wish you luck.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 11:13 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • hmmm... that is a tough question. But if it is causing YOU stress and worry... then i WOuld tell your father so can have it out in the open with him... i don't know the kind of relationship you have with him.. but if you are close at all.. i would think that HE would want to know especially with a new grandson.. :)
    kansan-moma

    Answer by kansan-moma at 11:16 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • I agree with coala. Also I think that with a baby you should tell your parents you can't be around them with her because you don't trust them (the uncles) and you want to protect your child from the same kind of abuse. As painful as it may be for your father to hear it, you have a baby now and her protection needs to come before hoping not to let your father feel the emotional pain. I'm so sorry you are in this situation, I imagine it must be very difficult.
    MamaSarah1104

    Answer by MamaSarah1104 at 11:18 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Idk. I would not let bb around brothers tho.
    KARRIEMARIE

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 11:21 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Not only do I think you should tell him, I think you should do it in front of the perpetrators with lots and lots and lots of witnesses.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 11:45 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • I would say something. Maybe even confront the uncles and let them know I haven't forgotten or forgiving and I don't trust them and can't wait til they burn in hell. I would let my mom know that she can never be left alone with my child because she didn't believe and protect me so I can't expect her to do that for my child. I'd let my dad know and depending on his reaction take it from there. I would also let it be know to the family and let them know that if these men will be at a gathering, don't even bother to invite me because I will not be there. You may get some looks and maybe even lose some family but oh well. Do what's right for you and the baby. Don't worry about whether they believe you or not. They don't need to. You just need to get it out so you can heal. Good luck hun. Take care of yourself and that baby.
    reigndrops12689

    Answer by reigndrops12689 at 12:03 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • I agree w/ reighdrops12689 & spammyman, what if they are still doing this to other children? Its a terrible situation but I would tell the entire family that way the other parents know that they need to protect their children a little better, and if you lose a few family members than so be it, better lose a few than to allow this to happen again. GL, I definitely think you should make this open, especially since you are a grown woman now, and if your own mother doesnt believe you, than shame on her. I couldnt imagine dismissing my child if they came to me with something like this, I cant imagine what kind of mother would. Im sorry you had to go through this but I think you should do whats right for your and your baby here, GL to you.
    xxMasonsMommaxx

    Answer by xxMasonsMommaxx at 12:58 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • I agree with this

    You can tell the cops dear....The sad thing is YOU probably arent the only victim...What if they are doing those to someone RIGHT NOW!?
    cynprz

    Answer by cynprz at 2:23 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

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