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Husband's family using him for money.

My husband's uncle asked my husband to help get him a loan three years ago, just before i met him, and I had no clue until today when we got mail and a bill from the saying my husband owes over half of the original loan. My husband thought the loan was piad off by now, (the bill usually goes to uncles box and not ours). And this comes after husband sold his uncle a vehicle and took half of the amount he sold it for and agreed to wait until next week for the rest. That was 4 months ago. So i am really frustrated, I want to yell and scream and husband for allowing himself be used and manipulated. We have had previous arguments before about this uncle using him and my husband thinks since his uncle helped him ut alot when my husband was younger, that he owes him. Helping him out here and there is fine but to be almost 2,000.00 over this uncle, is crazy!! What would you do?

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DKK2010

Asked by DKK2010 at 11:36 AM on Aug. 31, 2010 in Relationships

Level 7 (198 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Honey family will be the "FIRST" to bring you down. I tell my son this all the time. Family borrow money, and they feel because they're family they can do it. "STOP" helping him until he give you guys the respect to pay the loan. I help my family out quite a lot, and I never get the same back. Sometimes we have to start saying no, and start thinking of ourselves. Just because your husband's uncle helped him out when he was young, does not mean that his uncle can take full advantage of him. Your husband feels obligated to his uncle, and no one should feel that way. This is what I would do. Take it to small claims court. Your husband may not agree to it, but you guys need to make him pay this money back, and stop giving this man money. Sit down and tell your husband that you're part of his finances too, and this is affecting you as well. Its not about him anymore. You're his family too, and you should not have to suffer.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 11:48 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • continued'
    When it comes down to it, your husband will have to pay this money back and this is not fair, and this will make me very mad at the uncle. This man is selfish, he only thinks of himself, and he is clearly using your husband. If your husband does not see the way he's being treated, then you have a problem. Your husband may feel really close to his uncle, and sometimes family do not want to alienate one another over money, but there comes a time when enough is enough, and you as a wife have to say "THIS IS ENOUGH"! "NO MORE LOANING MONEY"! Good luck, and trust me, I'm in the same situation, but I stopped it by not lending out anymore money.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 11:54 AM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • There is a difference from helping someone out and putting yourself in a position to be used and abused. Hopefully your husband realizes where he stands and won't allow it again. Unfortunately, this doesn't help your current situation though. Good luck to you. I hope it gets straightened out and fixed.
    firenicecream

    Answer by firenicecream at 12:11 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • First: Realize this happened before you met (as you mentioned) so it was before your good influence and second sit down with him and talk to him about the strain this is causing. Don't argue or accuse you two really need to have a conversation. Let your husband know that his decisions to help his uncle are affecting you and your family now and not just him. Put your foot down. He isn't really helping at all he is enabling... Good luck.
    ajbrownies

    Answer by ajbrownies at 12:46 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

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