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2 Bumps

If not court ordered to do have to allow your child to stay with the father for a week in another state 400 miles away?

Recently the father of my BD (20 months old) decided he would like to have visitation with her 1 week a month. I dont feel comfortable with the situation. I dont mind him coming to visit were we live but not excited for her to travel 800 miles round trip every month. Do I have to allow this without a court order? Also, he has no one to watch her when he is working so what is the point. I really think he is doing this just to start drama.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:43 PM on Aug. 31, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • nope , a child has to be 3 before overnighters away from the mother , unless you want otherwise . shes too young to be so far away from her mother anyway and he should appreciate that .

    Answer by maymummy at 12:47 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • I have a friend who allowed her son to go back and forth betwee AZ and CA for years. I don't know your situation, but you might want to sit down and write down what your fears are, and what the facts are and weigh them out. If he's a good dad, takes care of business, he deserves to do that every now and then. Sometimes it's not about us being comfortable. Sometimes things get messier in a courtroom when it really didn't need to go there to begin with. If you fight too much he can take you to court. Good luck!

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 12:49 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • without a court ordered visitation schedule you do not have to agree to the visit especially if you have concerns.

    Answer by okmommy08 at 12:45 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • If its not court ordered then no, if you don't feel right about it and its not ordered I wouldn't do it.

    Answer by countrygirl06 at 12:47 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • oops my bad! 20 mos! Sorry! That's a little young! I get your stress momma! My bad!:)

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 12:49 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Without court-ordered visitation, you never have to let the father see the child at all. It's true that you can put the 3-yr. old stipulation into any visitation that may come in the future, but you don't have to have it. Of course, he does live awful far away. As it stands right now, you hold all the cards and you have to do what is best for your child. Good luck & God Bless!

    Answer by christy_lvr at 12:54 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • no c/o means no rights for the daddy. he has to take you back to court. check your state's laws to find out more info, they may allow him to go with bio/dad, but maybe not at that age. it all depends on the state

    Answer by AngryBob at 12:55 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Well if I were divorced from DH and he lived 400 miles away, I would not need a court order to allow my children to be with their own father. I'd gladly allow it, for I'd want our kids seeing both of us as often as they could. Daddies are just as important as mommies. Fortunately I don't have to worry about that.

    Of course if a parent was a danger or abusive that's a different story. If a man is a good father, I don't get why any mother would fight him having his kids too, even if their was distance in home locations.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:39 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Will he isnt a good BF he doesnt take care any of her needs and hasnt since she was born. I asked for help and he said that when he gets to see her he will take care of her needs when she is with him and when she is not that is my probelm. He just wants to see her because he knows that it will cause me a great amount of stress. She is 20 months old and has never spent a night away from her mommy. He has a 5 year old son that is always at his mothers instead of spending time with him when it is his turn. I do agree if he was a responsible man I would have no problems. I grew up without a father and dont want that for my child but I really just want what is best for her. Also I think that she needs to be older.
    Also thank you maymummy for the age thing

    Answer by RebeccasMomma at 2:01 PM on Aug. 31, 2010