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what do you think of a 21 year old with three kids?

my DH and i are wanting to TTC for baby #3 in Dec. 08. the catch is that i can't help but think about what other people are going to say. i am only 21! i got married at 18 and had the twins at 19. by the time the new baby will be born i will 22. i hate the comments that other people say about young mothers, only because i really am a great mother. i stay home with my twins and my husband is in the military. when i think about whats best for OUR lives, we both think its time to have another. its just when i start thinking about all the nasty comments that are going to be said behind my back that i start doubting myself. i would just like to know your honest thoughts about how you feel.

*my twins are 15 months now...which would make a little over two.
*my husband is 23

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:27 PM on Oct. 11, 2008 in Trying to Conceive

Answers (63)
  • I'd say that you are a brave Mom!! I don't care about age. If you are a good Mom, then age has nothing to do with it. I am older than you, but I got married when I was 19, and had my first son when I was 22. Then I had my second when I was 25. Now I'm 26 but I still get looks from "older" people. Not as bad as when I first had my first son, but still. I hate that I get judged because I wanted to start a family young. We're waiting however on our third. My boys are 3 1/2 yo and 20 months and I am about to lose my mind! They are so active and all over the place. I want to wait until my youngest is almost 3 before we start trying. As long as we have our thrid before I am 30, that's all I care about. Good-luck Momma!! :)

    Answer by boizmom at 2:36 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • If you are happy, I think it is GREAT! Have as many babies as you want! What I would be worried about is that I am assuming that you haven't been to college and are probably a Stay at home mom. Which is also great, except that Your husband is probably gone a lot or will be eventually being in the Military. I would be worried that you might get overwhelmed with 3 babies. Also, I know from experience that with you not having much work experience and the taking time out to raise babies, I can make it extremely difficult to get a job later, if you need to. But as long as you have planned ahead for emergencys. Then Go For It!

    Answer by amydh at 2:38 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • Dont worry about it. If you want another baby and can handle it, go for it. I was 20 with my first.
    People just like to gripe about other people. You hear a lot of bad stuff about older mom's too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:44 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • I think to biggest thing to consider having children is whether you are ready. If you are ready then nothing should stop you. I have a almost 3 year old, 5 month old and I feel I am ready for our next. I am 22 years old and know exactly how you feel!!! We are having money problems too and I still cant help but want another but then I do what you do and doubt when I hear other peoples thoughts. I've decided that God must have a plan and everything will work out because I have faith and am a good, strong mom. It sounds like you are too and if you survived twins so far you should be fine. Do what is in your heart and your hubbys because in the end that is all that will matter and you'll have eachother at the end of the day...hope I helped you!

    Answer by Softwater at 2:46 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • Ignore all those comments you know your doing a good job and if you can handle and want another baby right now go for it. Im 20 right now have a 11 month old and 21 weeks along with another if anyone has anything to say about that,. well i really don't care cause my babies mean everything to me and wouldn't change a thing.

    Answer by BabyGsMaMa13 at 2:51 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • I'm not convinced that your age matters when it comes to people's comments. We had our third when I was 37, my husband 39. We had comments like, "Wouldn't want to be you," and another held our newborn baby and said, "Nope, don't feel it," and handed him back to me. Not to mention people questioning, "Why?" People are always going to have something to say no matter the situation. Don't let anyone rain on your parade. You and your husband are blessed to have beautiful children together. Besides the fact that you seem like great parents, it's your choice together...nobody elses. Go for it! Good luck and good health.

    Answer by good2me at 3:11 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • I wouldnt listen to what other people have to say. I'm 20 years old w/ 2 now. I had my first in August of 2006, I got married in May of 2007 then I had my 2 DD December of 2007. I'm wanting to have a 3rd baby in April of 2010. In my opinion I'd wait to conceive until your twins are potty trained or getting that way. So when your baby gets here you wont have to buy diapers/ pull ups for 3.

    Answer by MAyers at 3:20 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • As long as you are ready then I say who cares what other people say. If you are a good mother to your children and you can support them and care for them then it is nobody else's business if you have 3 when you are 21. My friend had 3 by the time she was 21 and she started at 16. She is married to a great man and they can support their family. She takes great care of her kids, they don't go without.
    There are a lot of mothers out there who give the young ones a bad name. Honestly I don't think age should matter all that much. There are older parents who don't do such a hot job at parenting. I had 4 by the time I was 25. I started at 17. I had 2 in diapers at a time. It wasn't that much of a financial crush. Your twins you could probably start working with them on the potty training.

    Answer by jessicamelia83 at 3:26 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • thanks for all of the support! you have no idea how nice it is to hear all the supportive things you have to say. i am beyond excited to watch my little family grow!! thank you so much! :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:33 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • I think it is up to you and your husband. I'm older than you, but would never tell you what to do. You sound like you know what you are doing, and if people openly say things to you--give them a piece of your mind. It is your life, not theirs.

    Answer by Teachermom01 at 3:50 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

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