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How do you know he cheated...?

About 10 months ago my boyfriend of 10 years started acting really weird. He started ignoring me, and when he would get a text message he would go to the other room (isn't a big deal just diff for him). About two months after his behavior changed, he told me he wasn't happy and didn't want to be with me anymore. He walked out on us and moved in with his parents. Within 3 days he was crying on the phone and texting me non-stop telling me he wanted to come home but I didn't let him. I stood my ground for 6 months and after he showed some signs of improvement and met my conditions (got on medication for bipolar disorder, paid his debts, agreed to counseling, took an active role in his sons life) I let him move back in.
Now that he is back... I am not doing okay... I can't shake the feeling that he cheated (or wanted to cheat and just needed me out of the picture) ...
What are some ways I can find out if he cheated on me?


Asked by 3livin4angels at 1:59 PM on Aug. 31, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (76 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (26)
  • Parents in an unhappy/stressful situation can be more likely to have less patience with their children. Be easily agitated. Be more "grumpy" overall. Or even become depressed and possibly resentful because they may actually start feeling that if it weren't for their children. They wouldn't be in this situation. Which is in essence what you are saying, staying for the kids means you are only there because of them. So doens't it make sense that overtime you could possibly start resenting your children for that.. Not saying you WILL. Just sharing that you are human and it could happen.

    10 years is a long time.. But so is 15, 20, 25, 30, 35..etc.. If you are unhappy, possibly hurt, possibly starting to feel resentful towards him, feeling disrespected..ect.. Today... How will you feel 15 years from now, 20 etc. If things do not change and continue as they are?

    These are just things for you to think about/consider :-)

    Answer by pixie_trix at 2:35 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Well, if you let him back in, you did so accepting of the fact that he may have cheated.

    Let sleeping dogs lie and use it as a learning experience, that is if you want the relationship to work out. If he shows signs again, investigate!

    Answer by Jademom07 at 2:02 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Have you asked him? You ask his parents? You read his texts when he's sleeping? Do you read his emails? The only way to find out is to confrunt him about it or snoop around.

    Answer by elly25 at 2:02 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • thats what my ex did to me... acting funny with his phone and "he told me he wasn't happy and didn't want to be with me anymore" being away from me finding excuses to leave in the morning and stay gone all day.. i left and went to live with my mom after i found a couple txts from her in his phone.. i don't know what to tell you i left and got a divorce.. sorry momma!

    Answer by proudmommy690 at 2:02 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • if thats the case.. that he's always lying, than I would reconsider being with him just based on that. How can a relationship stand with him being untruthful all the time?

    Answer by Precious333 at 2:04 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • ask him and tell him to be truthful.

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 2:01 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Pester him until he breaks. OR, tell him you know that he did it. Tell him a close friend told you & see what his reaction is. This is how a friend of mine caught her DH. No one told her anything, but when she said that....he just started crying & apologizing.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 2:01 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • He lies... alot. about everything. =(

    Comment by 3livin4angels (original poster) at 2:02 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • u might ask him and make him tell the truth or see if he has any condoms laying around.

    Answer by michelle34231 at 2:02 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Oh his reaction he looks guilty but he never admits to anything... unless I have hard proof like a paper with a number on it or a picture from fb... idk. Am i missing any places to look?

    Comment by 3livin4angels (original poster) at 2:03 PM on Aug. 31, 2010