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What advice would you give someone about to get married?

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OctoberOrganics

Asked by OctoberOrganics at 2:39 PM on Oct. 11, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (37)
  • If you are having any doubts at all don't do it. and good luck!
    coala

    Answer by coala at 2:40 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • Always respect eachother and as hard as it may be sometimes...communicate.
    good2me

    Answer by good2me at 2:45 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • Communication and respect are important, but you have to have enough in common that you enjoy each other's company as well as enough differences to make life interesting. Be friends first so you kinda know each other first. When the romance cools, it's nice to have a friendship to fall back on.
    rhope4

    Answer by rhope4 at 2:49 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • Go to counseling before marriage. You need to discuss your goals for you life, children, finances and many other things. Many wait till after marriage then find their spouse only wants one child and they wanted 5. Love is important but compatibility, friendship and respect are just as important.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:02 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • First off, take a deep breath, this is a huge step in your life. If will no longer be just you. compromise, communicate, patience, respect, and understanding are the key to a happy and healthy marriage. =) the first year is truly the hardest. Never forget why you fell in love. always kiss each other goodnight. and hopefully most of your up and downs will be in the bedroom!!
    BabyBugsmama

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 3:04 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • My advice is learn now that you will NEVER change him....no matter how much you may want to. Accept him for who he is, what he does, and you and he will be happier. Learn that life is NOT a fairytale romance...there will be ups and downs. The first four years of my marriage was the roughest, so stay strong, remember your vows, and know that he will never learn to read your mind. If you want something...SAY IT. :-)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:33 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • Run
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:53 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • I would say to reassess every mark of his character and ask yourself if this is something you can live with for the rest of your life. People do not change when they marry. If a man lies before marriage, he will lie afterwards. Same is true for anything you care to name. I think women marry, knowing there are major character flaws, but they think they will be able to change them. It does not happen. The man he is when you marry is the man he will be 60 years from today unless he becomes dissatisfied with who he is and decides he wants to be different. All the love in the world will not change him. I also think it is very wise to ask family and friends if they see anything that might be a problem area. Love really does sometimes blind us to major flaws in character.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:55 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • make sure you know what you're getting into. some people are blind and don't realize who they're marrying until it's too late. if you don't like men that don't rinse dishes, or throws his clothes on the floor, you may be cleaning up after him absently right now while you're dating/engaged, but then it becomes a huge problem after you're married, cuz then you'll see it, and wonder why he's changed, when in all reality he hasn't, you've just noticed it now. i hope that makes sense. cont-
    armywife43

    Answer by armywife43 at 4:05 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • also, keep to your vows. they are not just words. they have meaning, and yes, there will be times that get worse, you will be poor, and there will be sickness, so make sure you stick together through it all. and remember, love is not just a feeling, it's a decision. if you think that you don't love him because that "feeling" is gone, just remember, that feeling isn't there all the time, and love is something you have to work at. above all, communication! that's the best way to keep a marriage together is to communicate with your spouse. GL
    armywife43

    Answer by armywife43 at 4:05 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

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