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WANT TO LEAVE AND MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

WELL ME AND MY SO HAS BEEN TOGETHER FOR ABOUT A YEAR AND A HALF. IN THE BEGINNING EVERYTHING WAS GOING GREAT ( AS USUAL), EVEN THROUGH THE PREGNANCY. WE STARTED HAVING PROBLEMS ONCE THE BABY ARRIVED. WE HAVE A LOT OF FINANCIAL TROUBLE AS WELL AS COMMUNICATING TO ONE ANOTHER. I'M KIND OF AFRAID BECAUSE HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO MANAGE MONEY VERY WELL AND WE CAN'T EVEN GO A MONTH WITHOUT US HAVING AN HEATED ARGUMENT ( I FEEL LIKE I'M RAISING TWO KIDS INSTEAD OF ONE). AND I'VE TRIED EVERYTHING I COULD TO WORK IT OUT. RIGHT NOW WE ARE SEPARATED . HE WANTS US TO GET BACK TOGETHER BUT I WANT TO LEAVE AND MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

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nisi48

Asked by nisi48 at 2:47 PM on Oct. 11, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • Im in the same situation, if you don't think it's going to work then don't get back with him. That will put more stress on you and you don;t want your kid to see you guys fight. Right now my BF is trying to get back with me and in my situation i don't hink thats right for rtight now. I love him and told him i can't be with you now but i want you to still be in your sons life and if you can show me your going to change then one day we can be together again. I've told him before that i'll be with him and he has to change that didn't work, this time i think he is doing good at trying to work w/ me on these things. Just do what you think is best for YOU and your child. be strong at whatever decesion you make i know it can be hard to leave the father of your child.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:58 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • move on with your life. I have been a single mom and it is doable. Much better than stressing out everyday about someone else's inabilities. That shit will make you CRAZY!!!
    MammaMia72

    Answer by MammaMia72 at 3:34 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • If you feel this strongly about moving on then do it,you have a baby now to think of he is grown he can take care of himself,you need to think about you and the baby.instead of being all stressed about how its going to be with him.its hard to leave someone you care about but sometimes you have to make sacrifices to better yourself,goodluck.
    geenabelle

    Answer by geenabelle at 3:52 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • It is amazing how often this happens after a baby comes. Had you asked me this question before you had a child, I would have told you leave immediately. But the child makes it a lot more complicated. What so many don't realize is that children really need to have two parents, a mom and a dad, who are actively involved in their lives. It simply is not true that children raised in single parent homes do just as well. While some children do come out of those situations relatively whole, they do not do so as easily as those who have both a mom and a dad actively participating in their lives. So, I think you have to really think about the life you want for your child and then decide.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:08 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • nannyb.
    children can come out just as well with one parent my mom was a single mom since i was in 1st grade and iam glad that my dad wasn't there. It's not always good to try and stay together for the kids that can put problems on them too cause the feel guilty about the mom putting up with getting beat or just when they argue. We came out alot better then kids w/ both parents, my sis is a doctor and im in law school.


    just do what you think is right for you and your kid, if it's to stay or go.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:44 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • i still agree with nannyb. it has been proven that kids with both parents do better. if you can't get counseling and he is abusive then i would say leave cause that would damage the children but no relationship is perfect and sometimes people give up to easily and rarely give it a good try. you can't change people but you can learn to deal with each other through professional help. he could take classes on managing money or you do it if your better. i do ours cause of the same thing. i would only leave after having gotten professional help and both parties really trying.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 6:10 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • My husband and I argued a lot after the baby. It happens. We are wonderful again now....(9 months later) It takes time. Do what you want though.
    Sandiii

    Answer by Sandiii at 10:40 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

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