Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

mothers of 2 or more children

I am a woman who has always been able to have a great busy career and still manage to take 2 hours a day 5 days a week to do things I enjoy (hobbies, etc)

anyway, I am expecting twins in two months and I have been absolutely TERRIFIED lately because everyone keeps telling me "when those babies come you wont have any time for your self"

As excited as I am to be a mother, the idea of not having time for myself makes me wish I didn't get pregnant in the first place.

Tell me, how many moms out there have a hobby, how often do you make time for yourself, and how do you manage a marriage, kids, and your own interest?

or do you actually not have ANY time for yourself?

Answer Question
 
FITmama2B

Asked by FITmama2B at 3:05 PM on Aug. 31, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 14 (1,666 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • it all depends on what help you have you can even take a nice warm bath by yourself while the babies sleep or do your crafts while they sleep i have 2 children and about to have my 3rd child i think it is very important to take time for yourself even if it means once a week or during the nap!! good luck mama im sure things will be fine you will work it all out
    Mommmy_To_3

    Answer by Mommmy_To_3 at 3:09 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Don't worry!!! It all works out!!! Husbands r great helpers!!!
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 3:09 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • I don't have any time for myself... Haha. Sorry that sounds terrible.

    That's not entirely true though, if my husband helps out or my MIL or mom, I can find a couple hours to do my thing.

    The older they get the easier it will be to have "me time", but be ready to be at their beck-and-call at the beginning.

    A word of encouragement: They will probably become your hobby. They will be what you want to spend your "me time" on, and you'll love it!
    Biz1985

    Answer by Biz1985 at 3:10 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • In the beginning, your babies are infants and you will want to be with them all the time. As they get older, you really don't have time for "yourself" but I found that my interests changed and was able to do things for myself that corresponded with my children. My closest friends are the parents of my kids' friends. I'm involved with the PTA and the soccer board. I work full-time and have friends at work.
    RoostersMom4

    Answer by RoostersMom4 at 3:10 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • I have no kids of my own but. Hang in there, the first few months might be hard but as soon as you get into the swing of things and start getting your sleep back you can always set a time aside for yourself. An hour while they are sleeping or an hour where your SO can watch them or a baby sitter and do something for yourself. I'm the oldest of seven kids and my mom had a hour a day (not including grocery shopping) where she would go to the local gym and work out or go to lunch with a friend. She always came back refreshed and ready to tackle the day.
    Gnomeofmyheart

    Answer by Gnomeofmyheart at 3:10 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • I had three children in 7 years, and I had a husband who was self-employed and who worked very long hours. Not only did I take care of the children, I pretty much took care of everything else at home, too, so no, there was not much time for me. I did however manage to make almost all of our clothes during those years. I did it to save money, but it was also somthing that I enjoyed doing. I never went anywhere by myself, even to the grocery. I had three children in tow, but I loved every minute of it. Now that they are all grown and have families of their own, I have all the time in the world to go to lunch with my friends, spend the entire day shopping or do whatever I want to do. The thing I enjoy most is helping my daughter and daughters-in-law with their children. I think that's because I remember so well not having anyone to help me. I am a happy and fulfilled woman, and I would not trade any of my life with anyone.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:11 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • thanks everyone, as mentioned.... I'm sure I will love spending time with my kids but I believe an hour a day ALONE without your kids is very rewarding to the mother... weather it's to go to the gym, have lunch with friends, work a part time jopb, go on a short date with your man, etc....

    No matter how much I love my children I don't think I will want to be around them 24/7 (just like I dont want to be around my husband 24/7 lol)

    I just waNted to see how many woman actually make the time fo rthemself and how they feel about the issue
    FITmama2B

    Comment by FITmama2B (original poster) at 3:16 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Whether you have time for yourself is up to you. If you have family or friends around that can babysit that is a huge plus, but even if you don't you can still manage time for yourself. When the babies are sleeping is a perfect time for you to get in time for yourself. When the babies go down for the night is another great time. On weekends if you want to go to a craft fair, the mall, or anywhere the babies are easily transportable. Just sling them in a sling or sit them in a stroller and go. Never be afraid to take your babies out with you, just learn easy tricks to make going out easier with babies. That's all. Even when babies are awake if they're not fussing, crying, or needing something then feel free to lay them in a swing or on the floor and go about your business. Babies DO NOT need to be held constantly and they do not need constant attention from mom/dad. It's actually important to give them time alone.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 3:22 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • (Continue) It's important to give them time alone playing on the floor, in a jumper, on a playmat, etc. That way they can learn their motor skills, learn to comfort themselves, and other fun tricks. This also gives them a sense of independence, which is super important for children to learn early, so they don't grow up to be clingy/needy children. (Though for some children that can happen naturally either way) With all of that said, hobbies and alone time are not out of the picture now that you're having twins. You just have to be creative and think of ways you can do things now that you have kids.

    That's what I had to tell myself about my dreams of traveling. Those dreams aren't dead now that I have kids, I just have to find ways to incooperate my kids into my traveling. It's not different for your time to yourself or your hobbies. You just have two more little people to think about, but everything else is still possible.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 3:25 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • When they're babies, you don't really have much time for yourself... I'm sure especially with two of them. It's a major lifestyle change because you're used to being able to do anything anytime you want... and now you have this person (or persons) that need you 24 hours a day. You have to think about their needs before just running off anywhere. It's a hard adjustment... but it gets better.

    You do really have to MAKE time for yourself, and for me that means letting some other stuff go (like housework). My hobbies are pretty much confined to my house and they serve my family... but I enjoy them. I take at least an hour or two a day for my hobbies (sewing, gardening, reading) I do go out for book club once a month and me and DH try to go out once a month as well... in the beginning, though, I would take the baby with me to bookclub and we'd only have a very short date night.

    LeanneC

    Answer by LeanneC at 3:27 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.