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How do help your husband not feel helpless when dealing with biological fathers?

I have two girls with two different dads, the older daughter's father has no contact whatsoever with her and is married himself. He serves in the national guard as does my husband and uses the guards as one of many excuses for the lack of contact and slow responses to atty's papers. My other daughter's dad sees her occasionally but calls at the last minute to set up visits. He uses vile language with me if I talk to him about getting a court order for support, he says he doesn't have to pay me more than the min. amount. I get frustrated and sometimes I yell at my husband just because he does a little thing that annoys me. He doesn't know what to say or how to deal with me when I break down and cry.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:26 PM on Aug. 31, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Im sorry your going through this. the only thing I can say, is when you feel the angry coming out at the wrong person, take a step back, take a deep breathe, if you have to, go lock your self in the bathroom for five minutes, just to calm down....
    lilmoosesmom

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 3:31 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • i would just apologize to your husband & explain that sometimes your frustration is misdirected to him.
    rAbella

    Answer by rAbella at 3:34 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • like last night, I had to explain the same thing I have already explained over and over again to my younger daughter's dad and his dad. I just started bawling because i yelled at my husband for trying to help me calm down. I know eventually he'll get the chance to adopt them both, but its hard for him to understand that him going to court with me won't change the outcome of anything. He can't really even get involved.
    guardwife10

    Answer by guardwife10 at 3:37 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • don't let those fuckers get to you like that. i know you are worried about your children's feelings and they are making things hard for you. just take them to court asap.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 7:04 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • My older daughter's dad has stalled court over and over again for 3 years, we finally got a court date and he asked for a continence from the judge. We go to court again on the 7th for a status hearing and trial date to be set.....the other one our case is still pending. He says he doesn't have the money to pay the min. amount of support tomorrow. He has two jobs, one full-time, one part-time neither of which he makes less than 10.50 an hour at. He drives a 2009 Lincoln MKS which books at $36,000 and supposedly buying his parents house which they are asking $627,900 for. And he can't pay his child support of $216? Right.....yah we are going back to court.
    guardwife10

    Answer by guardwife10 at 7:50 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

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