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My husband got fired from his job last year and has just now recently found part time/as needed work at school, where he goes to school fulltime.
We got some money back from school this semester, paid a few bills and left some in our account for as needed kinda situations (laundry soap, toothpaste, gas for the car...etc). I asked him how much we had in our account and he came on here and checked...told me and I said ok, and started walking over....and he closed it out. Well a few min ago I just came back online and checked our account....he's spent over $50 on "here and there" sodas and food for when he's at school.
I am beyond frustrated....this seems to happen every time we have money and I talk to him about having NO INCOME.....He won't take sandwhiches to school from home or whatever...and when we don't have money he just goes hungry, but when we do...he spends it!
What am I to do??? I shouldn' t have to monitor this..

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:40 PM on Aug. 31, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Maybe try to fix the account so he can't get into it? I don't know other than that. Some people just aren't good when it comes to handling money.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:43 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • My husband was the same way until I forced him to sit down with me and make out our budget together. Seeing where our money goes and being shown that there's no room for "here and there" coffees, sodas, etc really helped out.

    Answer by SarahLeeMorgan at 3:44 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Looks like u have to monitor it.

    Answer by dancer at 3:44 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Why are you with him? What are the good things about him?

    I wouldn't want to stay in a relationship where my husband lies about money and puts himself in such a position. Not take lunch when he has no income? Really?? Why is he entitled to lunches out? If the money isn't in the budget at our house my husband doesn't spend it.

    Answer by Mommy2Gabrielle at 3:45 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • It's a partnership. Maybe this is an area where he needs some extra support from you.

    You monitor the money, he kills the spiders, KWIM?

    My DH simply relieved me of responsibility of having a debit card, i have to take cash out using his card. I don't spend $50 a week on fast food and crap from CVS anymore.

    Answer by UpSheRises at 3:46 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • This is how I would handle the situation if I were you.

    1) I would do my best to try and communicate to him why he needs to stop doing that. And the affects that his doing that has on the family overall.. IE: you spent money on "x".. now we do not have money for "X" which is a family need/household need.

    2) If that did not work. I would put him on a cash allowance if I had the spare cash. And have the debit card/atm card left at home so that he could not use it or be tempted to use it.

    3) If a cash allowance is not an option. I would either make him lunch or offer to do so. If he would rather go hungry than take a lunch then that is his problem and not mine. I offered. If he refuses. He';s a grown man, he can deal with the reprecussions of choosing to go hungry.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:46 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • I don't know how much you combine your income and his, but as a married couple it should be combined and completely above board. If there is only a set amount of money left until the next job, check or whatever, he should cut himself an allowance with you both in agreement, and that should be the only money he gets to spend. When it is gone, it's gone. If you do not have a job, you should think of getting one. If your budget does not allow for soda's, meals out, etc. and you are worried about toothpaste, a serious discussion is way over due. There are several groups here on Cafemom that deal with money and budgets, and the guru I go by is Dave Ramsey. You can find him online, a group here and also on Fox Business Network at night. Good luck.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:47 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • my husband also sucks at being aware of the impact of nickel and diming and we are also financially strained. now is a good time to sit down and have a conversation about unnecessary spending - you can use the facts that are present... until there is proof sometimes they just hear it as bitching and nagging. tell him how you feel about his lack of consideration as well as the additional strain and stress you are now under and that you are very upset. it's not a reason to go getting divorced as someone seems to be suggesting, but he needs to understand this aspect of partnership. i'd be pissed. my husband is actually making a little more money on the side and seems to feel that now he has a right to spend unnecessarily so it's a whole new game now... just a heads up in case he decides to get another PT job or increase hours. make a budget for small spending. tell him it's important to eat, etc. but don't let him off the hook

    Answer by figaro8895 at 6:56 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Maybe its time to start monitoring him with the money

    Answer by noahsmommy12908 at 10:17 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

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