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4 Bumps

Is anyone else's adult teen daughter a complete idiot and bitchy?

I have lots of good things to say about my daughter and she is trying really hard, and I also know we all need to make mistakes to learn, but right now I just need to vent... she just turned 19. At 17 she moved out to my naive parents' claiming she was being abused because she didn't want rules and because I didn't let her be a total bitch to me and do whatever she wanted. At that point I was tired of fighting. So my parents and grandma buy her a car and pay for her school, she drops out of school, gets an apartment and can't get along with her roommate so gets screwed pretty bad there, loses her job because she talks to everyone like she did me, gets a new place she can't afford, THEN gets a dog, gets tickets she lets go to warrants, gets another job but loses that after a couple months, loses her car to title loan - not because she couldn't pay but because she was sick of dealing with it even though she had not taken care of

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figaro8895

Asked by figaro8895 at 5:24 PM on Aug. 31, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 26 (27,251 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • That sounds alot like me when I was 19... She'll get over herself eventually.
    CarlyCo

    Answer by CarlyCo at 5:26 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Wow. That's terrible, I don't even know what advice to give you. She clearly does not deserve any more of anyone's patience. Hopefully she'll find herself in a situation that give her some maturity and perspective.
    SabrinaBean

    Answer by SabrinaBean at 5:26 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • it, had procrastinated getting insurance etc. (which was one of the warrants) and was driving back and forth to work with an out of date inspection and no insurance. just gives up on the car, yet there is no public transportation. decides she is sick of her job and basically asks to be fired, THEN decides she is going to break her lease and move where her friend lives to get rides to whatever new job she gets... without knowing if she is approved, fills out notice to vacate at current residence AND spends her rent money on who knows what so she is screwed if she is not approved. Meanwhile, since she lost her job half the days she hasn't bothered to stay on top of getting a new one because she gets pissed at everyone constantly - she asks for rides or help and then thinks she can talk to me like shit. Some days I wonder if she has a brain. And no I don't let her use me for stuff when she can't be respectful. She is so stubborn.
    figaro8895

    Comment by figaro8895 (original poster) at 5:28 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Some people have to do it the hard way. Sounds like she's one of them.
    karamille

    Answer by karamille at 5:29 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • WOW speak of the devil... just got a phone call. with her first apartment, the apt complex illegally broke her lease because the roommate said she wanted to move (long story, but it was totally illegal and they know it). she moved to their sister complex, who when asked to complete a statement about whether she paid her rent on time refused to do so until my daughter completed a notice to vacate (even though she was going to break her lease, now she doesn't have the option because they forced her to fill out the paper). Meanwhile, the apt she is trying move into says that she has a balance at the first apartment affecting her credit... which although should not be there she doesn't have time to fight it.
    figaro8895

    Comment by figaro8895 (original poster) at 5:39 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Let her deal with the fallout. Unless you signed at a co-signer - it all falls on her and as an adult, she has to deal with the consequences of her adult actions.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 5:52 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Wow. I hear u are not alone.
    KARRIEMARIE

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 5:53 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • i know she needs to deal with the consequences... i guess it's a good thing there isn't much i can do to help. my husband lost his job in february, i lost mine in may, and i am expecting a baby in november. we can barely keep our own heads above water so there's nothing i can do even if i were tempted. and knowing how much she procrastinates and makes decisions without thinking, i refuse to cosign anything for her (not that my credit would help her anyway). it just boggles my mind that can make such stupid decisions without thinking things through. so now she has no job, no transportation, and about to have no place to live. since she treats me like crap (among other reasons) there is no way she can come back here and since my parents don't know she lost the car they bought her she won't call them. i'm worried about her - this is not good and she is prone to depression like me :-(
    figaro8895

    Comment by figaro8895 (original poster) at 6:03 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • I can sense your disappointment. Hopefully she snaps out this phase soon.  Sorry


     

    musicmom08

    Answer by musicmom08 at 7:37 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • She tried to do too much too soon. It sounds like since you and your husband lost your job that she wanted someone else to take care of her. It doesn't sound like she's very responsible. Grandparents get her a car, she moves out because she didn't want rules, gets a job and can't keep one, gets a dog when she doesn't even have a place to live. She needs to get her head on straight and fast. She's only thinking about herself. I have a 22 yr old daughter that thinks me and her Grandmother get to pay all her bills, so I know how you feel, and she's not grateful either.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:24 AM on Sep. 1, 2010

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