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4 Bumps

I'm tired of people thinking I'm a charity case; I'm just cheap.


My neighbors are always offering me their old stuff. I usually don't mind cause I'm thinking hey free swag but it's getting out of hand. Yesterday my next door neighbor gave me her son's old shoes that looked they they were 10 years old just raggedy. Why would anyone want to put those shoes on their kid? I'm beginning to think they think I am really poor. No, I don't drive the nicest car but it's safe and paid for. Why would I buy a new car just because mine looks bad? I don't buy to impress, I live within my means.


Asked by Anonymous at 5:36 PM on Aug. 31, 2010 in Money & Work

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • We always ask around before we take something to goodwill, no matter what. And we take what people offer! People think we don't have a lot of money either, because we drive a '99 Ford Windstar. Paid off, in great condition, and we got a steal on it. And we don't have credit cards. Which means we also don't have credit card debt. But in our society, that's pretty rare, so people assume when you say "I don't have a credit card" what you mean is "mine is maxed out." And when you say "I shouldn't buy this ridiculously adorable outfit for $20" what you mean is "I can't afford my next meal." People are very uncomfortable with others having limits on their money or saying that they have set limits.

    I'm sure she's being nice. We use old crappy shoes as muddy play shoes, or for dolls (depending on the size). There may be a ue for them you haven't thought of!

    Answer by whiteroses82 at 11:49 AM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • Jut say thank you and chuck them in the trash. I hear ya. My husband drives an old beater, it looks terrible, but the car only has 88 thousand miles and drives like a champ. We live within our means too, but I guess that other people really feel the need to keep up with the Jones'.
    Really the best thing to do is smile and nod...and then trow the crap in the trash. They will feel good because they helped you out and you will feel good that you were nice to them. Win/Win situation :D

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 5:40 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • People live differently. It's great that you've learned to live within your means, it's one of the hardest things to do! Just remember that everything they are offering is done with the best intentions! And it's really very sweet of them.

    Answer by SabrinaBean at 5:39 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • When my husband and I got our first apartment (about 5 years ago), his aunt lived just a few doors down and used to give us food from her pantry, but 90% of the time it was ALL expired!!! It just boggled my mind as to why she would give us expired food, I know its a nice gesture but just because we're broke doesnt mean we want to eat expired food, lol. This one time she gave us spaghetti sauce and I couldnt find an expiration date on it so decided to try it out, went to pour it into the pot and a huge clump of mold fell out of the jar. Lol!! Soo gross. Neither of us wanted to say anything and possibly offend her, so everytime she gave us stuff, we would just go through and check all the dates and wind up tossing mostly everything. I know this post isnt much help, but figured Id share, lol. GL to ya :)

    Answer by xxMasonsMommaxx at 5:41 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • I had a daycare give me nasty, stained jackets because they thought I should put more clothes on my baby in October(she was wearing sweats, which is fine) and she said"I'm sure you guys just couldn't afford it and I don't want anyone thinking you don't take care of her"
    Pissed me right off!

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 5:51 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • but maybe they are not doing it with that intention. maybe they just dont want to throw them away. he used to do this a lot with my coussin ihad my first son and he had a whole bunch of clothes that he sometimes would only wear once or twic since he was growig so fast. so when my cousin had her son i told her i had soe new clothesw (they were new some he didnt even wear) from my son if he wanted them i knew they were able to buy clothes and stuff but i just had those new clothes sitting their and like a whole box of new born diapers. she said yes and then she saw all the other clothes thatwere used and she asked for thoese so to this point since my son is one year older than hers i give her my sons clothes ofcourse the ones that i knwo were not all old and ugly. i think you should just take them and say thanks your son doesnt have to wear them or you can just say oh they dont fit my son thanks

    Answer by Alejandra10 at 10:27 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • LOL good for you!

    Answer by hill2 at 5:43 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • I would take them and just donate them or throw them in the trash. They are just being nice, Easy enough to brush off.

    Answer by Melbornj at 6:24 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • If you arent really in need just throw them away i would rather my kids not wear 10 year old looking shoes and go to the goodwill then make someone feel better

    Answer by amandaeastman at 12:06 AM on Sep. 1, 2010