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I need help with my 4 year old.

So the story goes that my 4 year old daughter just started school. Ive always had a really hard time trying to get her to tell me what she did all day. Its been going on for a couple years now. She is about to turn 5 and she still can't tell me what she did at school. She just started school so to me i want to know what she did. I am excited to find out what she did or learned at school. But everytime i ask she says "I played." which really doesnt tell me anything. I get very angry because I feel like I have to interrogate my kid to get her to just tell me what she did at school. I feel no respect from her at all when this happens and this typically leads to a time out. I ask and ask and ask over and over again and finally i get "i learned spanish." well then I ask what did you learn? what did your teachers show you how to do or say? and she doesnt tell me anything all I hear is an "ummmm......" It's frustrating. What do I do?

Answer Question

Asked by pinkrebelette at 9:28 PM on Aug. 31, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 2 (3 Credits)
Answers (30)
  • Stop pressuring her usually when they do something exciting she will tell you.

    Answer by mamaofficer at 9:32 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • understand that she's 4? kids don't have an amazing attention span. i asked my 4 year old what she had for lunch, she said spaghetti. i packed her lunch, and it WASN'T spaghetti. don't be too hard on her. just go along with what she did. if she said she played, ask her what she played. don't ask for anything too specific.

    Answer by gracefulsky at 9:34 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Ease up a bit. Wait a while to ask. My girl used to be the same way. She'd be so excited about the ride home and talking about what she played she couldn't answer. Wait a bit then ask her specific questions. Did you learn a letter? Who did you play with? Did you color? What did you color? Be more specific than just "what'd you learn?". It's not a respect thing. More of a too many to pick just one thing so she latches onto the biggest, easiest to remember (playing). Good luck!

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 9:34 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Oh mom chill out...this is no reason for a time out. She is still so young!

    My son is 7 and is VERY bright and articulate and I still get short two word answers from Thats just how kids are!

    Please dont get so angry at her, I studied Early Childhood Development in college and she is just not ready to give a complete narrative of her day like an adult would! I promise you its not her being ugly to you, its her being a young child!

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 9:35 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • (when i say "too specific" i mean asking a general question and getting a specific answer. what you find exciting, she may not.) as well.... ask her teacher what they learned that day, that way you can use that as a guideline.

    Answer by gracefulsky at 9:37 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • I would agree with you, if I felt like I was pressuring her. But I ask her casually, and in a fun exciting way. I am the most patient person you will ever meet. My boyfriend goes through the same thing with her as well. Even when she calls grandma on the phone and she asks what she did, she wont say. She'll say nothing, or i dont know. I feel like, itsobvious she had fun at school, but she cant remember a thing or be able to tell me one thing in detail. Every day, after questioning, its "I learned spanish" which is pretty frustrating. It hurts me that she cant communicate. I dont see why she cant communicate with me. I am not a bad mom, I work hard and go to school and I am basically a single mom and I am with her all the time and take her out, so there is no reason why she should resent me in any way.I really don't know what to do. Should she see a speech therapist to get her to be able to tell a story? she cant even do that

    Comment by pinkrebelette (original poster) at 9:38 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Get over it, she's 4!!! To her right now learning is playing thats how teachers teach at this age, so the kids engage. If your so worried about it ask the teacher to send a note home everyday. Stop punishing your kid for being a kid!!!!

    Answer by Casumael at 9:39 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • You are taking this WAYYYYY to seriously and WAYYYY to personally. Have you never been around young children? This is normal and this is what they do.

    Please chill out for your dd's sake!!!! Seriously, I am a teacher, and I am telling you she is normal!!!! You are blowing this out of proportion.

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 9:42 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • I just read your next post..your dumb. Get over it. Once again she's 4 do I need to say it again!!!! SHE IS 4!!!!!!

    Answer by Casumael at 9:43 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • ummmm...that's what kids do...the majority of them anyway...I am a teacher and when I conference with parents (2nd through 4th grades) so many of them tell me that they have no clue what goes on during a school day b/c their children never share anything with them. Just stop worrying about it. If you really need to know then email her teacher. I ask my son (who is 5) what he does in school and the only thing he ever tells me is what he gets to eat for lunch...LOL...then I drop it.

    Answer by MommyH2 at 9:44 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

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