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How To Handle This Tough Situation

So my daughters dad lives in houston. I am here in colorado he has never been there for my daughter until just recently. I have decided to move to houston so that my daughter can get to know her dad because I think its very important for her. When I told my parents they freaked out and said that he does not deserve the right to be in her life. I think he does and I think he needs to know what its like to be a parent it has taken him 19 months to come around. And the fact of the matter is there still feelings but let me make it clear im not moving there for him im moving there for her. Has anybody been in this situation where you don't want to upset your parents but you have to do whats right. Im just looking for advice.

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Asked by JaydenBelle at 5:34 PM on Oct. 11, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (6)
  • Well...the nature of this scenario is that, your parents are already upset so there's no avoiding that. It's done. Sometimes it's not possible for everyone to have their way. I'm not sure if I would've moved for that, as opposed to him stepping up to do so himself, but in any event, you didn't do anything wrong. You're grown and you've started your own family. Your parents have to understand that. Besides, it will be you your daughter questions as to why her father isn't there, not them. So, you did what you felt best and your daughter will appreciate that.

    Answer by SugaB28 at 5:40 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • Truthfully I would stay where you are, make sure that he will keep making the effort that he is now. You wouldn't want to move and then 6 mo later him want nothing to do with her again. Also you need to think about how hard it will be without your extended support system being right there. I didn't think that it would be that hard when we moved away from my parents, and I was wrong. If I could move back I would, and we only moved about an hour away from them.

    Answer by MarshaB702 at 5:45 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • you have the right to be happy and do whats best for YOUR family.

    Answer by myboogiewoogie at 5:55 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • I think if you are willing to move, it's really good for her to know her daddy. But are you going to be really upset if things don't work out when you move? What if he ends up being a jerk... then what?

    Answer by AmiJanell at 6:08 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • i wouldnt move for the sake of your daughter..if he realllllllly wanted to be a part of his daughters life he would relocate!! you moving there is sort of forcing a relationship between them, that he might not want..or might not be ready for..and thats his loss!! ya cant force a bond between a child and a parent, especially if one parent isnt all that interested! he wants to be a part of her life, then he needs to be the one to relocate and make it work..not you!!! i somewhat went thru that..and trust me,,its NOT WORTH IT!!! but this is just MYYYY opinion!!

    Answer by alexis_06 at 6:35 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • what is down there for you? I know that you think you are putting your daughter's best interest at heart.... but you are also going to be her sole provider down there, right? it sounds to me like you may be willing to get her closer to have a more powerful father/daughter bond...yet you would be the one sacrificing sooo much. I'm not necessarily saying that he should move or you should move....just make sure you weigh everything. It's not like you're just moving down the road. I can understand why you're parents are upset. not only are they worried for you, (they love you), but you're taking their daughter and granddaughter away from them. I personally, wouldn't move.... I wish you luck.

    Answer by Adeline1210 at 6:58 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

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