Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

My seven year old has a hard time behaving, getting physical, mean face, not listening, hurting people's feelings, hurting them, and finally he told me today that when he does something good, he gets a vibration feeling, like a phone ringing, in his stomach and he doesn't like it; therefore, he chooses not to be good. Any idea this feeling or who can help him connect it with behaving, because I can't seem to.

Answer Question
 
Susanhelpme

Asked by Susanhelpme at 10:38 PM on Aug. 31, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 3 (21 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Don't believe that. He's in a cycle or a habit, but that doesn't mean he can't break it with your help. If we say hurtful things, we have to apologize & say nice words. But we also have to learn that nothing can ultimately ERASE those words, and they hurt others.
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 10:41 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • He's developed his own comfort zone, a definition of himself as"bad". This is what he accepts himself as. This is a cycle that needs to be broken, just as txdaniella stated. He needs to learn to behave correctly and for his acceptable behavior to become a habit. Negative behaviors should have negative consequences, positive behaviors should have positive consequences. This way, he'll come to associate good things and good feelings with good behaviors. Don't allow his excuses to alter his path - direct him towards becoming a good person.
    lovesergei

    Answer by lovesergei at 1:43 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • I would not allow excuses and I would possibly have him speak with a counselor.
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 4:13 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • I have to disagree with the counselor. Counselors tend to be demeaning, making the child more angry at the parents. (I should know, my dad did it to me, and I became a mean, ornery person). Now, as I stated in another thread, parents are forgetting that having a child is not just for procreation. You have to become the pillar of your child. Discipline (especially at home), discussion, and sometimes, punishment are what is needed. I am not saying to grab an arm and beat him/her silly. Take away toys, movies, etc. Ground them to their room, and have them read a book. At the extreme, let them know that "bullies" are often never forgotten, and sometimes what they put out comes back to them times 10. IF you think it is hard to discipline him at 7 with his current attitude, wait until he hits 14. Tell him "Bad behavior equals punishment". Then, DO IT. Punish his bad behavior. It will sink in. Teach tolerance, diversity, and respect.
    Bearwolf48

    Answer by Bearwolf48 at 6:02 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • I appreciate all the advice, but I haven't let him make excuses, it was just somthing new
    that he told me. I have diciplined very hard. Took all items from him but
    his clothes, long time out, no tv, no playdates, no 4wheeler, u name it
    even spanked him, and beyond harsh chores/punishments and still
    acts up, even conselor w no help. I still am looking for answers
    Susanhelpme

    Comment by Susanhelpme (original poster) at 7:47 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • just as lovesergei has said. good luck.
    caseyandkids

    Answer by caseyandkids at 5:52 PM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • Wow how strange maybe seek professional help
    fryshannon34

    Answer by fryshannon34 at 7:17 PM on Sep. 11, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN