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3 Bumps

when someones mate passes away, do you think there should be a time period on dating someone new and falling in love??

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rosesrred1

Asked by rosesrred1 at 11:00 PM on Aug. 31, 2010 in Relationships

Level 15 (1,976 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • I don't think there "should" be unless maybe kids are involved. If a person loses their SO and then dates again right away they obviously didn't have many feelings for them, and that's sad but it's a personal issue.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:02 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • You know... they say MEN who have children will most likely marry within 6 months after a wife passes. Sad but true... and then usually end up with divorce. So sad...

    But... I think we are all meant to live our live to their fullest. My mom remarried her highschool sweet heart 5 years after my Dad died. Watching her be lonely was awful. I would never wish that on anyone.

    If we can find love again, then I think we should go for it. Its different for everyone. I think we are vulnerable right away but maybe as soon as a year... it would be ok because sometimes someone else might help a person heal.
    KarineLynn

    Answer by KarineLynn at 11:04 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • For myself I would need time to grieve, adjust, see my son thru it....before I decided if I wanted anyone else in our lives.


    If it was just myself, I would lessen the time but still it would take more than a few months.

    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 11:05 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • I think that only a person that has dealt with that kind of loss should make that decision. Some people tend to move on very quickly and some never do.

    I don't think there should be a time period. I know I've seen people jump into relationships and you can think what you want, but from personal experience.... what you 'think' may not actually be a fact. Someone can in fact move on very quickly even though they loved the person that passed with every fiber of their being. Everyone mourns and grieves differently and also moving on.

    So I think my personal opinion really shouldn't matter.
    ratchetlee

    Answer by ratchetlee at 11:05 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • My mom passed almost 4 months ago. My parents were married for over 30 yrs. My dad just got married last week! Myself and my 4 other siblings are all hurt by this. We tried to be supportive w him seeing somone but then he went almost straight to marriage! I think its cause hes lonely and I get that and want my dad to be happy but not this soon maybe a yr after. Out of respect and love for the loved one who passed and the kids I think someone should wait a month for every yr they have been together before trying to date and no less than a year before marriage!
    mymestey

    Answer by mymestey at 11:11 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • My mom loved my dad with all her heart. When he died it was hard on her. She was with someone about 3 months later. They fell in love and got married. They are happy now and this was almost seven yrs ago. I think if someone can find someone after loss then who are we to judge. Everyone deserves happiness. My step dad was my dads best friend. In their grief they found each other(didn't really get along when my dad was a live which I find funny). So I disagree with the first poster.
    crazymom21

    Answer by crazymom21 at 11:12 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • it's not up to me to decide how others should live their lives - i can only speak for myself.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 11:12 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • My cousin lost her husband of 11 years, they had a 1.5 year old DD. She was mourning and needed comfort. She is a good person has a great job very active in the church. A so called self proclaimed good christian man saw her, persued her, and did not portray his true self. She married him in a whirl wind romance and with in 6 months, they were married. She saw his dominering, selfish, greedy true colors. She did not want to look like a failure and stayed with him for 4 years and is now getting divorced. Because this so called man quit his job and my cousin was the " bread winner" she has been court ordered to pay 25000 in transitional support. He even is asking for more and stalking her, asking if there is still a chance. ( she is getting a stalking order) My advice, wait at least 3/4 the amount of time you were together and get over the mourning, so you won't be vulnerable and manipulated by a bad person. Good Luck!
    zakityzak

    Answer by zakityzak at 11:20 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • When my mom passed away my dad would have dates with women every once in awhile but it took him two years to get out there. MY dad has been alone for 15 years and he would never marry again and he is very firm on that. HE loved and still loves my mom very much.
    Claudiomom

    Answer by Claudiomom at 11:36 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • But whatever helps them heal
    Claudiomom

    Answer by Claudiomom at 11:37 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

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