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3 Bumps

How do I tell my mother I dont want her in the delivery room with me?

As Ive mentioned before (in another question) my mother is a hard one. Everything is her way or the highway. Right now I am renting a room from her and she helps me with rides to my apps and when I dont have enough money for pull ups or something (She doesnt watch my kids at all for me just so you know lol) and shes already planning on what im going to do when i go into labor and while in the hospital. Ive been afraid of telling her because last time i tried she kicked me out and i had nowhere to go with a toddler and newborn. i just want to feel in control for once instead of her making the choices for me like she did last two kids. She likes to throw it in my face that she helps me so I owe her so yeah, Im afraid of what will happen but I really want to know how to tell her that I dont want her there this time.

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ShadowXX

Asked by ShadowXX at 11:33 PM on Aug. 31, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 4 (50 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I made it very clear to everyone there and to my nurses and doctors - the ONLY one to be in that room with me was my DH... NO ONE else was welcomed. I really didn't care what they thought or how they felt, this is MY body, MY baby and MY choice. If and when they tried to stick around I simply said GET OUT!
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 11:35 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Do what I did. Talk to the nurse and doctors and explain tp them at check in. No one in the delivery room except SO. That way no feelings hurt, the hospital is working for you so it's hush hush. Good luck.
    Iluvmy5

    Answer by Iluvmy5 at 11:37 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • lol oh you poor thing! I went through this my first time. I too have a mom just like yours(worse) she's easily "offended" and I constantly walk on egg shells. She's bought Pampers and other stuff too. They seem to thik throwing a $20 bill your way here and there entitles them to do and say whatever they please and that they can walk all over you. My mom actually tried bribing the nurses to get into my delivery room AS I WAS PUSHING AND HAVING COMPLICATIONS. I told her prior that she was not to be there and she started boo-hooing. Sh tried guilt tripping me but it didn't work. After the birth when baby was 30 mins old and I was trying to nurse 1st time ever she managed somehow to shove her way into the room(when I had said no) and my dad nearly saw me exposed!!!! Ever since then she's not cared for me and only cares about my ds. 2nd baby I headed to the hospital and she didn't know what had happened til 2 days later lol.
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 11:43 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • She was mad but oh well. She ruined it the first time. I suggest telling her straight out your reasons why you don't want her in there. Mainly because its embarrassing for you probably. GL!
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 11:44 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • yeah let them know who you want in there at my old hospital you could even ask for a police guard to watch your door so no one unwanted could come in
    amandaeastman

    Answer by amandaeastman at 11:47 PM on Aug. 31, 2010

  • Absolutely tell your nurses....trust me, they'll have NO problem not letting her in. You may have some explaining to do later, but oh well...it's your time, not hers. BTW, I'm wondering if I'm your sister.
    DMac08

    Answer by DMac08 at 12:01 AM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • just call your dr and nurse to the side and tell them that she puts extra stress on you..that you feel it would be better if she were not present in the room..but be sure to tell the doc to make it his request..then no arguement with you! Congrats!
    jorjiegirl

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 12:03 AM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • aww hun!! i feel your pain!! with my daughter my mother, my aunt, my grandmother, my cousin, and my best firend were ALL in the room lol. i didnt want my mother there and i told her the only people i wanted was my cousin (she was 8m preg and wanted to know what to expect) and my bff. so while i was misserable she decided she was my mother and knew what was best. lol. this time i told her the only person coming in was my fiance and after angel grace is born her sister can come in and see her then my mother can come in. everytime she tries to say she will be in there i remind her not this time she was there before. my mom is the same way tho. she is ALWAYS right and if you dont agree with her well your just s.o.l. cuz there can be no other way but her way. but telling the dr would prob. help a lot. because after all you have to follow the dr orders right?! lol good luck hun
    momtimes2girls

    Answer by momtimes2girls at 12:29 AM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • No offense, but it doesn't sound like a healthy situation all around. Your mom just kicks you and the kids out for whatever? If you don't want her around, don't live in her house, and buy your own pull ups. Why are you having a third baby if you can't afford pull ups? Maybe mom is a little burnt out and thats why she gets in a hizzy every now and then. If you don't want her there, tell the nurses, they will come up with a way to tell her like it's procedure or something. I'm sorry, really! I want to be helpful, but I can't help but be a tad judgemental here....are you on her internet too?
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 12:38 AM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • wow way to judge musicmom, not everyone can be "perfect" like you. anyways, tell the security when you go into labor. it depends on the hospital though, because at the one i had my daughter at, if you blocked someone they wouldnt let anyone but the father and other kids in. ask when you fill out admit forms
    sunshinebaby209

    Answer by sunshinebaby209 at 1:07 AM on Sep. 1, 2010

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