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should I tell him he is a father?

I am due in 3 weeks. The father walked away from when he found out I was pregnant. He has since married and has denied any relationship with me to his wife. None of his family and friends know about me or my pregnancy except his wife, whom I told. She belives her husband lies. The baby is 100% his and I intend on pursing c/s. My question is even though the father abondanded us am I morally/legally obligated to tell him when the baby is born and should I also let his family know also?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:16 AM on Sep. 1, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • No you are not obligated to let a deserter know that their child has been born. Go for the child support, let him refute the claim, get the free DNA test and proove to him and everyone else it IS his baby and make him support it.
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 10:26 AM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • You are legally supposed to tell him when the child is born I believe.. Especially if you intend of going after child support. Try to enter an agreement with him.... But I wouldn't blame the guy for getting a DNA test, so expect that. Don't try to use the child to cause drama in his new relationship
    xxlilmomma09

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 10:17 AM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • you're not obligated morally or legally to do anything. however, since you will be attempting CS, i would give him a quick call after the baby is born. if he tells his family, so be it. its not your place to involve anyone else, other than the father.
    JMO
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 10:18 AM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • Talk to a child support advocate in your area and find out what steps you need to take. Be prepared to submit to a DNA test. I'm sorry you and the baby are going through this.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 10:21 AM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • Your not legally bound, he walked away from you. I wouldn't stir the pot with his family i would just go after child support and when they do find out i would let them come to you. no need to start any kind of drama for yourself. He has to live with his lies not you, don't suffer the concequences of his actions. Just enjoy the new little one coming into your life ;)
    BobbieJo286

    Answer by BobbieJo286 at 10:20 AM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • Legally it is important for him to be told and for it to be on the records. Legally.
    But if I were in your place, I would want to stay away from him and his wife. I would be out of town and on my own.And putting the whole unfortunate experience in the past. It can be done.
    gertie41

    Answer by gertie41 at 10:22 AM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • Also the courts will do a court ordered DNA test to determine who the child belongs to unless he says he is the father. I went through this myself there was no obligation to tell him and that is what a child custody lawyer told me.
    BobbieJo286

    Answer by BobbieJo286 at 10:24 AM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • Yes, just keep him informed.

    musicmom08

    Answer by musicmom08 at 10:26 AM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • no he dosent care let him find out after papers are served.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 10:19 AM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • He sounds like a real jerk- sorry you are thrust into single-parenthood. Hang in there- you will get thru this. He sounds like he wont have any involvment, so he'll find out when he gets slapped w/ official papers from Family Court. Not only will they assess paternity & child support, they will set up the minimum visitation sched. But I wouldn't hold my breath on him showing up every-other weekend. I hope you have a good support system including a positive male figure to be in your child's life. The sorry excuse of a sperm donor will be the one missing out!
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 10:27 AM on Sep. 1, 2010