Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

How normal is it for babies to always cry at arrival of regular day care giver?

My 13 month old twins cry (hard) the 2 days/week that I leave them with the sitter so I can work. It's been the same sitter for months and she comes to our house to stay with the kids. One day per week, my mom watches them and the babies do NOT cry or even fuss when my mom is there to watch them. I know they stop crying soon after I leave (my 5 year old reports in) but as soon as they see me get home, they insist on me holding them for at least 30 minutes and sometimes an hour. They do not act this way after my mom has been watching them.
They obviously can't verbalize anything yet. My 5 year old says they do ok during the day. But their behavior from the minute the sitter walks in the door really makes me wonder. They act so different when my mom comes in versus the sitter. They do not normally see my mom more than once per week so there isn't just a familiarity thing since they actually see the sitter more than my mom.

Answer Question

Asked by adoremy4girls at 10:32 AM on Sep. 1, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Yes. It's totally normal and a sign of a strong, healthy attachment to you.


    Answer by UpSheRises at 10:34 AM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • They act different toward your mom because they have a different relationship with her, same with the sitter. Based of what you've posted it sounds like your girls showing examples normal social emotional development.

    Answer by UpSheRises at 10:37 AM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • If you suspect anything may be happening, get a nanny cam. I would anyway for my own self assurance that my children were taking care of properly. They have them in a picture frame and many not so noticeable items. Good luck hon, I know it's hard to leave your babies even for 2 days.


    Answer by zbee at 10:42 AM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • Thats normal and better than them crying when you pick them I had a little boy I did daycare for who would reach for me when his mom came through the door to get him.

    Answer by okmommy08 at 10:44 AM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • it seems like there just having separation problems with mom, and grandma probably knows how to get there minds off it. If your worried about the sitter tho just ask your 5 year old if the sitter does anything while your away. most kids that young will tell you everything and anything they see.

    Answer by Lakoia at 10:46 AM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • I think for some it is normal. If you have an older child that can confirm nothing bad is going on, relax. My 3 yr old son did this at his daycare provider too. As soon as I or dad would come to the house to pick him up he would take one look at us and cry, and say I cried for you all day. Talk about guilt ripping your guts out! What's a parent to do? We have to work. My DD is now 19 and out of school so she has taken over God bless her heart! Let them cling if they feel the need. They will only be clingy and little for a short time anyway...enjoy it!

    Answer by salexander at 10:51 AM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • Separation anxiety. They have a different relationship with your mom and your older son probably acts differently towards her too. My baby see's his auntie every day. I watch her little girl, so she's littrally over here everyday and hanging out a great deal of the time. He see's his grandma 2-3 times a week (on average). Yet, he has NOO problem staying with grandma, ever. He's as happy as a clam with her... the one time I left him with his auntie for the evening he walked the entire house for an hour looking for me. He's done that to DH, too... I pull in the driveway one night, hear him crying and he's just walking up and down the hallway looking for me. Grandmas are just special! Closest thing to mommy they can get.

    Answer by LeanneC at 11:31 AM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • Mine is the same way, with my mom she is pushing me out the door telling me bye but with a sitter or her other grandmother which she see's 1 or 2 times a week occasionally she screams!!! So I think its just a bond thing with you and your mother compared to a sitter.

    Answer by Abbysmommy0208 at 12:31 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.