Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

custody question

i was reading on another post from june where some mothers said that which ever parent could better provide for their children should get custody of them. so im curious which is better providing... Im living in a 1 bedroom apartment with my 2 kids who share the bedroom and i sleep on the couch. im recieving child support and public assistance. my ex is living with his mother in a 5 bedroom house. he is working a full time job making 12.50 an hour. who can better provide for our daughter? i know he ca financially but does that make him a better candidate for custody?

Answer Question

Asked by mommy06and09 at 1:01 PM on Sep. 1, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 11 (531 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I would think they would look at other factors.. You have the children (and its likely they will go for the mother anyway).. you support them & take care of them. YOu have your own apt.. they are fed.. clothed.. I'd say you're doin a damn good job!

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 1:03 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • I think that you are. You have your own apartment, you are providing for them and making sure they are taken care of. If their Dad got them he would have to leave them with someone while he worked and they would be living with their Grandma. I think the Judge would see your situation as better for them. However,Judges like to do joint custody agreements now days.

    Answer by hsmominky at 1:06 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • courts will look at more than simply where a child sleeps to determine where the child spends the majority of their time.

    Answer by lissa27504 at 1:10 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • Depends on the judge some of them look at a single parent living with family as good because they have a support system. Either way the children are going to be "left" with someone because you both have to work. If you go to court than you'll probably get 50/50 but, if he has a good attorney he will most likely get custody.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 1:10 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • Providing to (ME) is not only housing, but nurturing, help with homework, stability, clean clothes, time for playing with the kids,etc.

    You can live in a small place and provide MORE than just a bed.

    Answer by AdrianaS at 1:19 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • we both made poor choices where my 4 year old son is concerned and for that i have been working my butt off doing things like theropy, parenting classes, i have enrolled my kids in daycare, provided food and clean clothes, had a public health nurse to my home. the problem is i have a guardian ad litem report that says our daughter should live with him and have visitation with me becuase he has more of a support system then i do. we both have lawyers now and im hoping that since im doing everything i am doing and he is doing nothing (other than seeing her on his scheduled visits) that the judge will find it in my favor. the problem is that he is still saying im doing things like not changing my daughters diaper and his proof is diaper rashes... which is false and i have a statement from her daycare saying that. he also says i dont feed her because she is hungry when she gets to him... she is 1 she eats all the time....

    Comment by mommy06and09 (original poster) at 1:30 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • he said i put her in a snowsuit in 80 degree wheather when what i did was put her in a full body coat (not a snow suit just a coat) when it was 60 degees knowing he would take it off when the weather got hot in the afternoon. he just keeps spewing lies and they are stupid lies at that....

    Comment by mommy06and09 (original poster) at 1:32 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • You can live in a small place and provide MORE than just a bed.

     I agree with AdrianaS, it's the way you take care of them, and the time spent with them that is more important than palatial surroundings. Your love and attention is very important.


    Answer by zbee at 1:32 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • I believe kids should have as much time with dad as they do mom.  Unless either parent is abusive to the kids I don't know why they wouldn't have shared custody.  Kids are not property they should not belong to one parent over the other.  Of course that requires parents to do what is best for their child and not themselves. 


    Answer by momtolucas2002 at 3:28 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.