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3 Bumps

I tend to choose the wrong type of men. Can someone please give me advise?

Im a single mum just moved to the bay area from the east coast . so right now Im new here in Vallejo and don't want to make any more wrong choices.. pls help..

Answer Question
 
LaCharmante

Asked by LaCharmante at 4:33 PM on Sep. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (9 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • First you need to be happy with yourself. Make them work for your affection, make sure that they have goals in life that are near future and long future, a job! Its hard, but thats how I found my DH was I wasnt going to settle, he had to love me for me and have goals. I also watched how he was with his family. When ever we went to visit them, he was always helping his mom and sisters.
    browningmom

    Answer by browningmom at 4:36 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • I picked someone outside of my "type". Start looking at why you are attracted to your type. I liked tatoo, bad boy musicians who liked to party. I married a small town, zero tatoos, proud to be a geek man, best thing I ever did!
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 4:38 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • Admitting you have a problem is half the battle! Esp. since there are children involved- it may be best to concentrate on just being a family & getting adjusted to the new move. Then, if you meet a nice guy at church, the store, the library (not a bar!) -date for a long time before bringing him around your kids. Make a list of qualities you want in a man, like: honest, hardworking, faithful, sense of humor, etc. Good luck- there are good guys out there- don't settle- you & your child(ren) deserve the best!
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 4:38 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • Step One: Forget finding a man for a while. Seriously. That will give you time for Step Two.

    Step Two. WORK ON YOU! Can't tell from your profile whether you're a working mom or SAHM or a student, but all of those things give you the opportunity to learn and grow. If you're not in school perhaps a class or two. A professional organization if you're a working mom. Maybe a church group or even a political action committee if there's a cause you believe in. Embrace your new community and become a part of it. That will help you find the person YOU are, and unlock all that potential within.

    The good men show up for women who know who they are and what they believe in and who are involved.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:39 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • Definetly learn to love yourself first. After I got divorced I waited a while before I started dating again. When I started dating I looked for red flags when I was getting to know someone
    noahsmommy12908

    Answer by noahsmommy12908 at 4:41 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • I tend to went with someone I thought was "boring" at first.. that challenge women seem to like can be a dangerous thing.. at least in my case.. I had to talk myself out of breaking up with him because he was SO borning.. that just meant drama free which I wasn't used to - and also putting me up on a pedestal, another thing I wasn't used to - here we are almost 14 years later :) AND happy and in love still..!!!
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 4:41 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • As a friend of mine would say, "maybe [my] (your) picker is broken." lol
    Kword

    Answer by Kword at 4:46 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • there is a book a counselor recommended to me years ago called Are You the One For Me? It was kind of an eye opener. I had problems with chronic depression and grew up in a dysfunctional family and both those things led me to make awful choices in relationships. there are lots of factors - i would go on but you didn't really explain more to be able to know which are most important to address....
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 6:29 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • If all your decisions have been wrong, then go with the exact opposite of what you would normally do.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 7:49 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • let the right one find you...until than take care of yourself

    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 10:11 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

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