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11 Bumps

Stay at Home Moms...... Why are we so disrespected these days?

I just don't get it. Moms choose to stay at home and raise their kids the way they want them raised, and yet everyone bashes us and calls us lazy. WTF? Even 20 years ago, many mothers CHOSE to stay at home with their kids. At the very least, until they were school age. Then, they might have gotten a part time job so they could be there after school. In today's world, the economy sucks. Some mothers who want the best for their kids can't afford to work, but can't afford to stay at home, either. Yet, they are continually bashed for not bringing in an income. Even working at home. Maybe there aren't any internet jobs that we want to do! Maybe some of us don't have good computer skills! Did you ever think of that? Maybe we don't want to be on the computer all day while our kids run around. Maybe we want to give them 100% of our attention and love while we have them young. Besides, it's not your choice. It's mine.

Answer Question
 
GadgetGirl90

Asked by GadgetGirl90 at 5:52 PM on Sep. 1, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 3 (20 Credits)
Answers (30)
  • Working moms get bashed pretty bad on here too. You can't win sister! If you work you are a bad mom for having someone else "raising your kids" like you never see them, or if you stay home you are "lazy" and suck the life out of your hubby. Just can't win! :)
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 5:55 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • Well personally I think "moms" are disrespected. I've seen SAHM disrespected and I've seen working mom disrespected. That said, I think people need to back off and "mind their own business". People (moms) do what they need to do - what works for THEIR family.
    firenicecream

    Answer by firenicecream at 5:55 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • BTW I have had to do both! lol So I have nothing against either one.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 5:56 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • I think one of the common misunderstandings is that SAHM's just sit around and do nothing all day, except feed the kid and maybe do a load of laundry.

    If you're a SAHM, you're a home maker in my eyes. You need to be preparing meals, taking care of your kid/kids, taking your kid outside to play or to a playground, doing play dates, keeping the house clean and neat. I don't mean putting a ribbon in your hair before DH comes home and looking like a Barbie, but actually be doing work before DH comes home and not finding any reason to shuffle kids off to daycare so you can get some "alone" time. Also, finding ways to nurture yourself and retain healthy relationships with individuals outside of the home so you don't get depressed.

    Anyway, that's my 2 cents.

    Working Moms and SAHM's should all be supported equally. Sometimes being a SAHM isn't an option, and I fully support any Mom that has to go back into the work field.
    Glamourina

    Answer by Glamourina at 6:00 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • I've seen both bashed equally on cafemom, not so much in real life though. I've done both (currently not working) and they are both hard in different ways.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 6:03 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • I have seen both bashed on cm as well. I dont feel that way at all about sahms. Even while I was going to work when the kids where litlle I soooo wanted to be home. Ironically while I was working 40 plus hours a week, my ex would still complain about how lazy i was and what a mess the house was. We cant win!
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 6:09 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • What I hate most about the SAHM issue is when I do go back to work and I apply for a job in the same field I left they want to know why you left and why you waited so long to go back to work. I was interviewed for a desk job by a supervisor that had less experience than I did, didn't get the job because he got hung up on the fact that I had kids! "Will that be a problem for you ? Finding a babysitter?"
    Ameliamomo2

    Answer by Ameliamomo2 at 6:12 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • I would have told them (and I have) that if finding a babysitter was a problem, then I wouldn't be interviewing for the job! (I did say it respectfully. As in "Yes, I have a babysitter. That's how I am able to be here today.") I support either choice and have done both myself. I have also been "guilty" of sending my kids to a babysitter for a couple of weeks in the summer so that I can have some alone time. I don't see it as wrong. I am a SAHM for 50 other weeks out of the year. It's not a 8-5 Mon-Fri job. It's 24/7 job. I deserve a vacation just as much as anyone else. My husband understands that and fully supports it. In those two weeks, I get to sit around and read. Or just rest. It's my time to do with how I want to. Even now, I have school on Tuesdays. But, a couple of other days out of the week, my youngest goes to the sitter. That way, he gets some time to play with his friend. And, I have time to study and clean.
    GadgetGirl90

    Comment by GadgetGirl90 (original poster) at 6:21 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • I had to work with my first son and now I get to be a SAHM with my second. I love being here with them. I get to correct them everytime something wrong is done. I can make sure they are being taken care of properly and I get to cuddle and love them more often then i got to do when my first son was small. I cherish it! and of course I take care of all the house chores in between but I agree I feel like people look at me like I sit around watching soap operas all day eating bon bons. I take care of my family and I think my job is more difficult some peoples who get a paycheck. Somedays it really gets to me cause sometimes I think my husband forgets how much I do also and that really hurts the most.
    Finkette

    Answer by Finkette at 6:28 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • I know how you feel.
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 7:51 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

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