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4 Bumps

Now that my SO left it feels like its really over....

we went to therapy and basically said that he wants to move forward that he cant' put up with me not getting along with his mother. That he felt unappreciated and neglected. That he feels he can share more with his friends than with me and that he admits he carried this on for far too long like a month. We made up then he would get upset ...he was confused...but he was just stalling now he living with a co-worker "female" at that he swears they are just friends but now I have to move on. I'm on anti-depressants and have to find an extra job i've been looking something is bound to come up. He gave up on us from one extreme to another....WTF I cant believe I'm in this situation. We have a daughter together and he pays the bill I'm dying to be able to do on my own so that he wont leave me hi and dry or throw it in my face. At least the tears have stopped but i told him i don't want to see him for awhile.

Answer Question
 
jenlesly

Asked by jenlesly at 5:55 PM on Sep. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Level 6 (110 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • i'm so sorry you are going through this. just keep your head up. things will get better. *hugs*
    mommyof2boysmd

    Answer by mommyof2boysmd at 6:04 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • i'm so sorry! it sounds like he wasn't interested in making things work - everything he said in therapy is stuff that he can control and he can choose to work on if he wanted to... it sounds like a complete bunch of bullshit designed to make himself look like a better person than he is for being a cheating liar. make sure you protect your daughter with court-ordered support and continue therapy for yourself to get through this. you can make it on your own. it's okay that you are sad - that's normal... just don't dwell on it and give that asshole more time than he deserves with your emotions. it will get better... it just takes a little time.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 6:07 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • Sounds like you should have treated him better. Time heals
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:07 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • This is when you will find out that you are a strong, independent women and you can do it without him. Find a job and a way to lower your bills! You can do it!
    alexsmomaubrys2

    Answer by alexsmomaubrys2 at 6:07 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • Time to grab yourself off, dust off the pity party and go! You can do it, you dont need him or the stress he brings. Get a job and lower your bills as much as possible. Dont let him use you, your not a door mat to be stepped on or wiped on. You deserve better than him, and its time that you knew it!! You go girl!
    browningmom

    Answer by browningmom at 6:38 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • thank you all for your words of support., I'm trying to move forward but in the back of my head the pain lingers it's really over....separate lives , visitation rights ....child support this is not what i wanted. But life has a way to snap u into reality i know i have my faults too but it would have take two to make it work and he obviously gave up.
    '
    jenlesly

    Comment by jenlesly (original poster) at 7:05 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • Break ups are not easy. It will take time. but you will get through it.. Hope you find a job soon.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:25 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • I think one of the hardest things is to admit, is that that person you love and thought loved you, doesn't. It hurts. Try to keep busy, and if and when he calls tell him your busy and don't let him think your sitting ard waiting for him. Some times playing hard to get can works wonders, or just let him go and find someone who truly loves you and move on. Keep your chin up if you can.
    MyAngel003

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 9:20 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • coming from a single mom here. life gets much better. you'll find happieness in yourself and ur kids and realize that he is wrong especially when a child is involved. best of luck
    miritrose

    Answer by miritrose at 10:32 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • The fact that he made everything your fault is a mirror into what he is truly like. I know this is hard for you right now, but I think you'll see later on that you will be better off without a man that isn't man enough to accept his responsibility in the breakup of the marriage! I wish you and your dd the best!
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 1:34 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

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