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How do you handle this? I don't want to hurt her feelings, she's sensetive right now...

My nanny is great with my kids, very nice lady. No complaints there. She is preg and the dad left her. I have been very supportive of her and helped her out with what I can. and want to continue. to do so. But here's the thing, when she isn't here she is excessivly texting me, IM'ng me on Facebook, and calling. If I don't answer her right away she thinks I don't like her or I'm mad. I don't get it. I know she is really lonely, but I can only give so much, and only talk so much. And the messages are just stuff like, I'm hungry, I'm tired, I'm boored, how are you.....stuff like that about 20 times a day. Ideas to resolve this positivley ladies?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:13 PM on Sep. 1, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (3)
  • She obviously considers you a friend (which is a compliment) but I think it's best, for both of you not to go nuts, if you just sit down with her and tell her kindly "the way it is". Listen, I like you a lot, you do a great job, I want to be here when I can but you have to remember I have responsibilities too. I can't always get back with you right away but that doesn't mean I don't care about you because I DO. (Or however you choose to say it.) But then maybe end on a positive note about her.

    I think you should keep in mind that sometimes trying to be sensitive to sensitive people can cause more harm. Sometimes they just need that "up front" approach. I think it's more in HOW you deliver the message. Good luck to you. I hope it goes well!
    firenicecream

    Answer by firenicecream at 7:27 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • Tell her kindly that you don't have time to text and that you aren't fond of doing it anyway. Say that in an extreme emergency it is OK, but you are telling everybody who texts you that you'd prefer they didn't. This takes it off of a direct criticism of her.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 7:25 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • well it's not easy to set boundaries but your going to have to bite the bullet on this. in her condition she will be hurt but that is nothing that you can control and you will have to deal with. in time she will understand that you were right. i would just be up front and honest. say look i like you and your great with the kids. i'm sorry for what your going through right now. accept that i'm getting annoyed by the endless texts/fb/etc that your doing everyday. it's just to much for me to have to deal with on top of everything else i have going on in my life with trying to be a good mother and wife to my husband. sometimes you just have to let them see it clearly even if it hurts.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 7:26 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

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