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4 Bumps

should i complain or let it go?

So i have been a sahm mom for 21 months. i have a 21 month boy and 3 month girl. i just started back to school 3 mornings a week for 5-6 hours each morning. my husband works 2nd so he gets up in the mornin before i leave and watches the kids now. i try not to let my son watch 2 much tv and i try to play with them as much as i can. my husband puts dora on all morning now, or watches his shows and my son plays by himself for the most part. and i'm pretty sure he just holds the baby all morning, i know he wouldn't put her on the floor and play with her. and usually when i get home the house is a mess and hes watching tv while they nap. should i just let it go since thats just the way he watches them, i mean they are safe. or should i say something which will probably start a fight. it does bother me, but we are already having problems all the time, i dont know what to do or say.

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sweetjpea

Asked by sweetjpea at 7:40 PM on Sep. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (367 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • I wouldn't say anything as long as the kids are taken care of, you know men can't multi- task very good!
    older

    Answer by older at 7:42 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • I would let it go. It's not something to fight over, IMO.
    Courtney610

    Answer by Courtney610 at 7:46 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • i don't think there is anything wrong with making suggestions on what he could be doing better and say that you really want more for the kids then to be zoned out on tv. it's just going to keep eating you up inside. he can take it as face value or get mad at you. saying something will most likely not solve anything you have to make that choice.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 7:46 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • Children need alone time too. They need to learn how to entertain themselves. As long as its not all day long all the time I don't see the problem? As far as picking up maybe before you leave you can ask "hey when you get a chance can you 'throw the trash'" or whatever needs to be done.
    firethearson

    Answer by firethearson at 7:47 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • I would find a suttle way of saying that it bothers you.... for every 1 bad remark think of 3 good ones.... for example: Hunny I know you work hard and deserve to rest, I appreciate you taking care of our babies while i have to do my things but maybe could you help me pick up the house when I get home.... or maybe you could take the kids to the park every other day....
    You have to let him know that he is appreciated otherwise you will be just attacking him and he will not respond to that....
    Advice from a Psychology Grad student: )
    Best of luck
    Niltiak

    Answer by Niltiak at 7:48 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • Niltiak

    If I could vote that up a zillion times, I would. You are so right about making 3 good comments for every suggestion on something he could be doing better.
    Great advice!!
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 7:52 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • well at least dora is educational. i came home from school and my three year old was on the computer. she loves the word world cartoon so thats all she wants to do is play word world. but i can say one thing for him, at least he's trying to help, i know alot of men who would pawn them off on a family member so they wouldn't have to watch the kids. be grateful for that. but don't make an issue out it. i learned that the hard way. you have too much important things to think about.
    noel1978

    Answer by noel1978 at 7:54 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • as long as they are safe, watching something educational and the child care is free...its all good. the rest of the week you can do your mommy bonding with them.

    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 7:56 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • thank you all for the advice. i do like the 3 good comments for every suggestion, i will try that. i do very much appreciate what he does though.
    sweetjpea

    Comment by sweetjpea (original poster) at 7:58 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • You need to say something if it bothers you or otherwise it will build up and then you'll have a bad day and shit all over him.
    LilLegs

    Answer by LilLegs at 8:01 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

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