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I am a married woman who does not think she is in love with her husband...

I am a married christian woman, and I do not think I love my husband. I always feel as if he isn't the one for me. Our personality's do not match, he does not support me or listen to me, and we do not have the same interests. I married my husband because he was the "safe" option. I think he is in love with me to an extent, and I'm the same to him. But I think marriage is supposed to last forever I promised he was going to be my one and only. So what do I do?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:52 PM on Oct. 11, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • You sound like the old me posting this. I ended up in a divorce and it was the hardest thing ever. If I were you I would figure out how you fell in love with him in the first place. You had to be in love to marry him. I would do stuff that you use to do when you started dating. Also, when yall are on a "date" don't talk about work, kids, or other family stuff. Talk about yall and fun stuff!!!

    By the way.......I LOVE DR. PHIL!!!

    Answer by Kenzies_momma at 11:58 PM on Oct. 11, 2008

  • You are in the "choice" phase of married life....I belive everyone goes through a period of "unlove" with their spouse and it is in that phase that you CHOOSE to LOVE your dh. If you loved him at one time and he is a "good" guy.....then you just pick it up, hold it together and wait on your love to come around again....b/c you loved him once for a reason, and it will soon find its way back to you.

    So many people give up during this period and thats why I think divorce rates are so high.....people dont hold fast to decisions they have made.....

    I do not believe in staying in an abusive relationship ect. but if its just your love thats gone....pray that God will "light" your flame again ;)

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 12:03 AM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • I've been there, questioning whether or not I love my husband, but I remember I only ever thought that when times were tough. You are a Christian woman and you know that you should do everything in your power to save your marriage! Divorce is only an option if there has been infedelity, or in my opinion physical abuse. There are several books you should read but here are my two FAVORITES!!! Love & Respect by Emerson Eggerichs and Becoming the Woman of His Dreams by Sharon Jaynes. I've been through tough times with my man and more will come, that is a part of EVERY marriage, but don't give up, you can get that love back. If you want to chat, message me.

    Answer by feesharose at 12:16 AM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • AMEN to Mom2!!!!! Love is a CHOICE it is NOT a feeling. That is when commitment comes in--when the feeling goes out. There was a recent study that said couples who wanted to split and waited were much happier 5 years later--because they stayed together and worked on it. Ask God to teach you to love him the WAY God wants you to love him. I have seen a miracle when one opens up to God and allows him to work---I know, He saved my marriage.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 AM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • Amen to Mom2 AND the Anonymous poster! My husband and I have been married for 13 years and almost divorced (because I didn't think I loved him) twice! That's when I decided to commit to this marriage, let God lead us, and prayed that He would fill me up with love for my husband! We are much happier 5 years later because we stayed in it and worked together. He saved my marriage too!!!!

    Answer by livewell4me at 7:21 AM on Oct. 12, 2008

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