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7 Bumps

How do I deal with this neghborhood bully?

Hi. There is a kid in our complex who was playing with our 3 sons (ages 6, 8 and 10) all summer who started to really irritate us. He was climbing the tree (which is right in front of our door) while yelling loudly. My husband and I asked him to stop on numerous occasions before telling him to stay away from our place. Now he's like a sworn enemy of the family, and he fights one of our kids at the playground every time he sees them. Although neighbors said that he started it today, they still called the manager to complain about the boys fighting in general. Now I am worried that if there are too many complaints, she may tell us to get out! I am not sure if I should plead my case to the manager or try to talk to the boy's parents (I hear them yelling at the boy too and get the feeling that they're not the type of folks who would be responsive). I can't keep the kids inside forever so I really need some ideas here. Tha

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butterfly_doll

Asked by butterfly_doll at 8:53 PM on Sep. 1, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Talk to the parents, and if that doesnt work then talk to the manager.
    xxMasonsMommaxx

    Answer by xxMasonsMommaxx at 8:57 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • Tell your kids to stay away from him.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 8:57 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • Talk to the manger & file a complaint... & try to keep your boys away from him.... You can try to talk to the parents in your area to see if any of them are also having a problem with the boy & see what they plain to do too....
    lilmoosesmom

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 8:59 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • I would tell the mngr. since it could effect your family's living arrangements. But I would also talk to the parents to see what can be done to mend the rift & keep the peace. That way you've covered all your bases. Good luck.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 8:59 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • first off i would start with the parents and make sure you document everything. if nothing happens with the parents then i would talk to management, tell them you have asked the child politely numerous times then you took it to the parents, show them the documents you have taken, make sure you show them a copy not your original. then go from there, if nothing is done there then i would talk to your managers boss. and make sure you document that you talked to the manager and that you gave them a copy of your documents.
    BUDDHASBABY1

    Answer by BUDDHASBABY1 at 9:02 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • Did you ever see "The Hand That Rocks The Cradle"? The best line in the whole movie was when Rebecca De Mornay's character grabbed the school yard bully by the shirt and got right in his face and said; "I got a message for you, Roth! LEAVE EMMA ALONE! Look at me - if you don't, I'm gonna rip your f*cking head off!" Love that part and every time I hear about bullies I always imagine some mom or dad doing this. lol Not something I recommend of course. I would definitely talk to the manager to start and then maybe try to discuss it with the kid's parents. Sounds like it won't be very productive though, sorry hope someone has some good advice for you:)

    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 9:03 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • Why would the manager ask you all to leave? Wrong they would ask the family of this boys to leave before they would ever think to ask you all to leave. You all aren't doing anything wrong you all want your children to enjoy themselves in the neighborhoodnot to be scared to walk out your front door. I would go right to the manager and speak up for your children they don't deserve to be bullied every time they walk out there front door. GL to you please don't just allow this to happen, speak up this children needs to be accounted for his bad actions and behavior

    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 9:03 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • Talk to the bully's parents and ask them to keep their son away from your children. If they don't, file a restraining order with the police, get the apartment manager involved, too. Economically it is costly to move from one apartment to another, but if this bully is making your children's lives living hell, then I would move. I have no patience with bullies. They get some kind of kick out of being mean.

    Joeygoat

    Answer by Joeygoat at 9:09 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • bullies are bullies usually because they are being bullied too. so they find someone they can push around and probably thinks this is acceptable behavior. I would go to the play ground with my children. if he starts with them I would tell the bully he needs to BACK OFF. I would talk to him as if he was my child (aside from trying to ground him) and If he wants to play with my children he WILL need to be nice or just leave. if he starts to give you lip. then tell your boys it time to go. doing this a few time might get the message across that the bully needs to be nice to have friends. if this doesn't work then its a lost cause and just try to monitor or avoid him. remember your the ADULT.

    northcarolinama

    Answer by northcarolinama at 9:22 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

  • I'd try to talk to the parents- but in a positive way. Let the know that something is going on and that it is effecting both families and see if you can come up with a plan. No one wants their kids to be a bully just as much as no one wants their kids being bullied. Remember he's just a kid too and may have some issues going on and maybe you can help by positively influencing his life.... good luck!!

    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 9:23 PM on Sep. 1, 2010

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