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3 Bumps

ireally need someone to tlk to....plz

my dh left our family. He wont tlk to me he says he misses me but wont work on us. He wnts to be with me again but theres problems that r causing him not to he got arresyed 4 dom. Violence bc i called the cops hes ordered not to see me except concerning our children. Im trying to work on getting back together ive done a lot!i wrote a letter 2 judge to remove him not seeing me im being nice towards him and he wont make an effort cont...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:32 AM on Sep. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • Why do you want to be with someone who beats you? If he was ordered by a judge to stay away, it must have been for a good reason. I can tell you love this man, but please do whats right for you and your children. Being in an abusive relationship isnt good for anyone. GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:33 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • You deserve to be treated with love and respect. It is very very difficult and frightening to leave an abusive relationship. I know you feel like you want to stay with him and you want to make things work. If he is violent with you, you have to move on. Do it for your kids.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 12:34 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • I have to agree with anon on this one. Why would you want to subject children to such violence?
    PhoenixFire

    Answer by PhoenixFire at 12:35 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • Why would you want to put yourself and your Chldren back in a situation like that? You deserve better than that and the children really do.
    hsmominky

    Answer by hsmominky at 12:39 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • I agree with everyone else. You can message me if you need someone to talk to though. I hope everything works out for the best. GL to you momma.
    xxMasonsMommaxx

    Answer by xxMasonsMommaxx at 12:40 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • I am not here to judge, only to try to help you. would you like the domestic violence hotline number? because they help in alot of ways-INCLUDING abusers who want help, want to change...email me if you would like the info.
    you are not alone, and you are not "bad" for being confused. abuse runs deeper than many ever see, know, or care to find out about.
    its not"just leave" or "he's bad-why are you letting that happen"...so much more.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 12:52 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • He is not making an effort to get back with you...

    You should take that as a sign that he is done. My aunt and uncle would fight ugly. He threw something that accidentally bounced of a wall and hit her. She called the cops and ended up he went to jail for months for Domestic Violence. The judge said that if there were not kids involved he would have sent them BOTH to jail. That was pretty much the end.

    You should think about what your behavior has been in this senario. If you are a true victim, then end this now. If you are part of the violence, then you need to make some changes. If you bring out the worst in each other, then let him go now while he has already made the effor to let go and stop trying to get back together.
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 12:54 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • going off line for the night, but please email for the info(I check it daily)- its not about what he wants...its up to you. and there is help(hugs)
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 12:59 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • I am sure it hurts right now. I am not sure what caused him to get arrested. But maybe you should both consider counseling and or anger management classes. In the meantime he has to abide by the court order so of course he can't see you. Focus on yourself right now and picture where you want to be 5 years from now. Make a list of things you need to do to get to that place. Stay focused. You will get through this. Give it time. Find something that conforts you and try to confort yourself! You deserve it.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 1:07 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • It's super hard to get out of an abusive relationship. I've been in one myself and it's easier to make excuses for the abuser and make there actions seem less horrible. Get support and help, there are shelters and domestic violence hotlines that you can call and get the help you need, guarantee its probably gonna happen again and it's probably not the first time, weather it be verbal abuse or physical abuse. No one deserves to be treated like crap and be physically, mentally, sexually, verbally abused. With your children there they might begin to see this and be victims when they get older too. I knew I had to break away when my daughter saw jennifer lopez in the movie enough and called her "mom" I took it as a compliment at first because I thought she thought I looked like j.lo but it turns out she was only calling her mom because of what j.lo was enduring in the movie that reminded her of what I was going through, sad right!
    babyangelromero

    Answer by babyangelromero at 1:15 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

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