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Did any moms loose interest in sex after having a baby? Even through the doctor say its normal thing that happens....How do you keep your relationship going without the sex ..when your spouse never been negelected from you before....our child is 1 years old now

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FayMeek

Asked by FayMeek at 1:31 AM on Sep. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Level 10 (388 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Sex is an important and healthy part of every relationship. What makes you disinterested in it? I've been in a slum before but the drive comes back if you work at it and you should work at it because it will be well worth your while!
    boznitch

    Answer by boznitch at 1:37 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • i agree boznitch even if u dont feel like it at least let your husband know that u arent feeling it and then maybe he can get u in the mood... communication is the key.. GL
    Patientchild3

    Answer by Patientchild3 at 1:47 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • Make yourself special by knowing how much it is going to be just the way you are, a mom. Make HIM see that this is his time to chip in and stop acting so selfish and be a true father with no pressure on you. It's nice to keep a journal of times you see the baby do this or that, and then later maybe have a little time out together with candles, and (grape juice,if you breastfeed, or a little tiny glass of wine)
    I'd say it's normal not to be looked at as a sex object, you don't need babies too close together . Let him realize the bills will only get higher if you become preg again. It's not a joke, and you aren't a machine. (MEN, why can't they just know better , .....right?)
    coffeeyum

    Answer by coffeeyum at 1:55 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • I have had that problem. I have very understanding husband. I think that youdo need to talk to your husband and let him know what is going on with you. He might suprise you and help you figure out what the two of you can do. Being together is important but you both need to be on the same page. I might even talk to your doctor as well if thing are not getting bettercan be . It be that your hormons are lacking something.
    BeckyW101

    Answer by BeckyW101 at 1:56 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • I didn't loose my drive from having a baby. I did it when I had a hysterectomy. It was so hard to be intimate with my husband. He wanted to please me in the worst way, but my body just wouldn't respond no matter what we tried. At that time they didn't have all the wonderful pills they do today. In time my husband lost the ability as well. He said if men don't use it, they loose it too. I felt so bad for him. We found that cuddling, always touching each other, wither holding hands or giving hugs helps keep you close to each other as well as those passionate kisses that take your breath away. I do everything I can to let him know he is important and needed. God will make a way where there is no way. Just ask Him for help.
    Prayerpartner

    Answer by Prayerpartner at 6:02 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • I can't help you sorry my sex drive went away when I had my hysterectomy 4 yrs ago and I try so hard but I am not interested in sex at all and at this point not even making myself have sex will work. I feel bad for my dh all the time he wants it and if he left today to go find some I don't think I'd even care there are other things going on too and we have been to counseling but it hasn't worked. There are lots of things you probably can do though make yourself available to him.
    Talk to your man and see what the 2 of you can do to maybe just start getting that feeling back maybe just go on afew date nights, cuddle, kiss then start getting those feelings back GL
    Moms_Angels1960

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 6:29 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • The loss of sex drive is NOT normal after childbirth. It's probable that you are vitamin and mineral deficient, as 60% of women are and 75% of post-partum women are. Zinc, magnesium, all the B vitamins, iron, essential fatty acids and vitamin C play roles in sex drive and overall mood. Increasing your intake of nuts, seeds, strawberries, avocadoes, dark green leafy vegetables, sweet peppers, sweet potatoes and citrus fruits provide the best source of these vitamins and minerals. With consistent increased intake, you could see improvement in 4-6 months. In the meantime, regular exercise releases both androgens and endorphins, which may help some, and a topical OTC L-Arginine supplement may also help in the short term.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 6:59 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • I lost my drive after having our first 3 yrs ago. It sucks. I am not on BC cuz DH had vasectomy and am not on any other meds so I just dont know y it is gone.
    MomX3LJC

    Answer by MomX3LJC at 8:27 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • I didn't want sex again until my son started sleeping through the night at 18 months, if you're not getting enough sleep that can be it. Or rest, when hubby helped out more in the evenings I was less likely to be so run down when we got to bed ;)
    gypsymama532

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 9:07 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • Im having the same exact problem. DD just turned one also. I dont know what it is. I was Iron defficent for a while, but they told me my levels are fine now. I do have Hypothyroidism, but I dont think that will effect my sex drive... maybe it does... But its been like this since she was born, and DH came home from Iraq... Ive been working out more the past few months, and eating healthy and having no physical changes, whic lead to no emotional changes and appreatnly this hypothyroidism is kicking my ass in the weight gain department... gay.... But as other post have said. Communication is soo important in a situation like this. I have talked to my hubby about it, and told him its just not there. And thats its not him, its not his fault at all. And that Im trying, ya know. Im going to make an appt soon to see my doc and talk to her about it also and see what she can com uo with. Hope it gets better.
    SierraLynn

    Answer by SierraLynn at 10:20 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

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