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Do your In-laws hate you more than they love your kids?

The heck with em then. Am I wrong for not wanting my kids to have much to do with em?
My In-laws just hate me and avoiding me is more important to them than interacting with their grandkids, who at this point (middle school) aren't feeling all that attached to them anymore as no bond has even been made.

But my DH really wants them to have a relationship. He's pretty much solo in this line of thinking.


Asked by Zoeyis at 7:04 AM on Sep. 2, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 31 (46,808 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • My mil hates me and at times it has been more than she loves my son. The problem is solely on her shoulders I have been nothing but kind and loving towards her.

    She hates me because I married her son if it had not been me she would have hated any other girl he married. She was nice for a few years but after our wedding she grew very cool to me and after my son was born she went bonkers. I don't trust her and feel given the chance she would cause physcial harm to me.

    I am very thankful my husband does not let her rule our lives and has backed away from her completely after her recent antics. We did see her when we were in Kansas but my husband said she would be nice to me or we would be gone and she wouldn't see him or our son again. She was fine until we started to leave then she started calling me names and tried to hit me. So we are pretty much done with her. My son is afraid of her now. Some mil's are nuts.

    Answer by momtolucas2002 at 2:25 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • OK just checking, sorry, there a few who are like that. My Grandma was one, but on the other hand I did have a SIL that was just a bitch. She didn't care what she said or who she insulted.

    Answer by oldermomof5 at 7:21 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • just know that you are not alone. my inlaws stopped coming around when my sd was 6..and now they want to show up like heros or something and shes 13 and despises them...i now have my own child a 7mnth old that they have never seen...I could care less why they dont like me..I have my reasons for not liking my dh's stepmother and those thoughts will never change..The way I see it we are all better off without them and their drama in our lives...

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 7:31 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • Welcome to the club! My In Laws live 35 minutes from me, the rest of their children and grandchildren live way out of state. They see those grand kids way more than mine. They are extremely condescending and my husbands is always doing the dog and pony show, kissing their butts. My husband is 50 years old and still hides from his parents the fact that he smokes. LOL... The only time they call here is when they need him to fix something. I no longer invite them to anything and rarely, if at all go with him to their house. After 17 years of marriage, they need to get over themselves... I'm not going away! ROFLMAO...

    Answer by WoodWitch at 7:59 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • WOW this is exactly my story. My inlaws dislike me! Its gotten worse over the past 10 years. They avoid me, therefore avoid my kids. Who are now 7 and 5. My kids dont realize that their grandparents are pieces of crap who dont put effort into any type of relationship with them. Dh wants to force a relationship by dragging them over there when he can. I say to heck with them.

    My question to you is, what age do the kids start realizing who their grandparents are and pull away from them. Right now, they just dont understand and its frustrating to me when they beg to go over there. All I want to say (AND I DONT) is that the grandparents dont really even want them over there in the first place. They would rather be quiet and alone.

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 8:02 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • first inclination of how life was going to be was when my first son was born. She didn't tell anyone or send out announcements about it, and if people found out she would tell them he was premature... because I was pregnant when we got married. Oh, yeah.... They refuse to social with my family. When we got married I thought, wow...its just two more chairs at the holidays since his brother and sister live far away.... that didn't work out. Apparently, my blue collar Italian middle class state of being didn't mix with their upper middle class white collar lives. Sadly, their son is a middle class blue collar kinda guy. Its crazy.

    Answer by WoodWitch at 9:15 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • Sigh . . . I have the opposite problem. It's my husband's mother in law that dislikes HIM. I have a wonderful mother in law and get along pretty well with my siblings in law. My mother and husband, OTOH, have never really gotten along, and since a very bad fight in December 2006, they haven't spoken. My mother won't ask about him and won't even mention his name to me.

    Answer by tinamatt at 9:34 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • Have you ever stopped to think why they might hate you? Something that you did or said in the past? What you could have done to correct this? Or are you one of those that this is the way I am love me or leave me to hell every one else or their feelings? I say and do what I want? There are very few people that just hate for no reason, there is always something.


    Answer by oldermomof5 at 7:14 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • They didn't ever try to get to know me and never have, and rarely said more than a few words to me. They are very controlling and manipulative people. MY DH said they were very emotionally abusive with him and his siblings.

    They quite simply didn't want anyone taking their son away and taking away their ability to control him anymore. Plus I was never intimidated by them, and they aren't used to anyone not being scared of them. These aren't nice people. They act nice when they want something. Will even show interest in our kids right before they ask for money, but we've caught on to them.

    Comment by Zoeyis (original poster) at 7:17 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • NO! What is with all the mention of "HATE" here? I see questions everyday about Hate and Haters ...or Haterz....and I think it is an exaggeration. Personally, I never felt that anyone "hated" me and I never "hated" anyone. Being poilte and caring,no matter what, will help a whole lot. There are so many things you can do to make sure everyone in the family at least will like each other and ,maybe if you try, LOVE each other. much hate.....

    Answer by gertie41 at 8:32 AM on Sep. 2, 2010