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Handfasting / Wedding Question - Religious - Wiccan

So DF and I set the date for May 13, 2011. But now I'm not sure what kind of ceremony to do. My mother has already stated that I'm not to put too much Wicca in it, or none of my family will come. DF and I have debated whether we should do a subtle handfasting ceremony, where it seems like a Christian ceremony so no one will be offended, or we should get married how we want and have a real handfasting. I mean I planned on for a regular handfasting making the hall feel outside-ish with a few fake trees and some back drops. (Too hot in FL and too many bugs) I found I cute little fairy-like dress and ballet flats that I wanted to wear because that's who he's marrying. But I want some of my family there too. But I don't know if I'll be happy conforming and DF said it's because I won't be being true to myself. Any advice?

Note:: I lost my wallet 6+ months ago and in it was my wand. Well I found it this morning.


Asked by ExenoRainbow at 8:12 AM on Sep. 2, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 5 (72 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • You would think they would be happy for you. However how are they going to know what kind of ceremony you have planned?? Do what makes YOU and your hubby to be happy. Do the invites say wedding or handfasting on them?? It's sad if your family won't come because it's a Wiccan ceremony, but that's their issue not yours. LOVE the idea of fairy dress and ballet flats. If that's who he is marrying then that is who he should see.

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 9:43 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • Do you really want people there who don't love you for YOU? It's your wedding, not theirs. THey are honoring YOU by their presence....not themselves. I say be true to you.

    Answer by sahmamax2 at 9:05 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • I just got married this past march and ran into a similar situation but my husbands family was they issue they are very catholic. so I did a blended ceremony that I was happy with. we did not do traditional vows we did not even have a priest we had an officiant that i got to know very well who worked great with me.I love her to death. I made my own handfasting cord and there is a poem called these hands that i modified it too.and of course i did the rings as well. I am having my "Pagan" wedding this october I have no regrets because I wanted his family there and there was enough of me in the wedding that i was happy my husband didn't care what i did as long as we were married. I still get emails from his family that they loved the wedding. Handfastings weren't always pagan they were also used in Ireland to bind a couple until clergy could preform a "christain" ceremony and both were recognized as legal. Hope this helps.

    Answer by sedorai at 2:42 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

  • You do what will make you happy and if your family can't deal with it...that is just sad.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 8:14 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • You need to be true to yourself and your beliefs. You could have the handfasting ceremony privately with those who understand and support your beliefs.

    Answer by Scuba at 8:19 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • If that is what you have decided on for your life then I agree-you need to stay true to it. If your family decides not to attend, that is a choice they need to live with. I am Christian and have been to Jewish weddings, handfastings, Budhists weddings- all because I believe in love and support-it makes me a better person to understand what is important to those I care about!

    Answer by soyousay at 9:41 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • This is about celebrating and honoring your commitment to each other. Having friends and family there is just a bonus.
    Follow your heart and follow your beliefs and be true to you and the love you share with your DF.

    If they cant accept that then its on them because honestly...its YOUR day.

    If they cant accept your beliefs before or after the wedding why should you conform just for one day??

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 10:57 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • Regrets are a hard thing to live with. If your decision doesn't have your support 100% you will regret it later. It is your wedding and it represents you and your soon to be husband so if your family cannot accept that your Wiccan, having an openly Wiccan ceremony isn't going to change anything in the long run.


    Answer by isabellalecour at 11:14 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • It's YOUR wedding! Do what YOU want. Please don't let them take it away from you. If they don't show up, then I'm sorry, but I would feel that their love in NOT unconditional. Why do YOU have to respect THEIR beliefs, but not vice versa?

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 2:41 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • um...whose ceremony is this? That's right, it's YOURS!!


    Answer by MamaK88 at 3:09 PM on Sep. 2, 2010