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Answers / Parenting / Preschoolers (3-4)
2 Bumps

How much do grandparents do?

Growing up with both sets of grandparents deceased, I am not familiar with how much grandparents do with their grandkids.
My inlaws want to do EVERYTHING with my little guy (he'll be 3 on the 14th). My MIL wants to take him to swimming lessons this fall and this winter my MIL & FIL want to teach him to ski. Is it normal for grandparents to do this much?
I feel a little jealous and think that me & my hubby should be the ones to share his first experiences with him and teach him new things.

 
secondbaby75

Asked by secondbaby75 at 10:07 AM on Sep. 2, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 3 (12 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I think it depends on the grandparents-- some are very 'hands on' and want to share in everything while others are not. My children are fortunate to have my parents, my sis and my mil, and all 4 are very active in my kids lives. They will have the kids over to play, they take the kids places, have them spend the night..... When my kids are in things- like soccer, or a school sing we invite my sis and the grandparents-- to the event. We also include my mom and sis on outings or 'fun days' as well.
    I think you are very fortunate to have inlaws who want to be involved in your child's life. If you feel a little jealous, maybe you can ask that the whole family (meaning you and hubs too) be included on some of the outings so you all can share in the fun of the new experiences or maybe you can alternate-- like you do the swimming lessons and mil takes him skiing.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 10:17 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • I have no clue really. We are a military family, so we are far away from our families unfortunately. I wish we were closer, I would love some help like that. All of that stuff you mentioned sounds so nice, but it's really up to you and your husband how comfortable you are with it all. ;)
    kksmomma1019

    Answer by kksmomma1019 at 10:11 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • I didn't have grandparents growing up. My In-Laws have never wanted to do anything for or with my kids, They wouldn't even babysit and my oldest are now 16 & 17. My mom and dad just like to visit with them... it isn't about the things they do, it is about spending quality time.
    WoodWitch

    Answer by WoodWitch at 10:11 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • decide which experiences are MOST important for you and your husband to be the ones to teach him and then let them take charge on other things... Maybe YOU really want to be the one in swim class with him but don't really mind about skiing, let them do that.
    Every relationship is going to be different (there are no set rules on what grandma teaches vs. what mom teaches) but I think having those extra role models in his life is a really good thing and should be encouraged.
    elizabiza

    Answer by elizabiza at 10:13 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • Every Grandparent is going to be different. My Dad loves to take our girls every know and then and do something special with them(fishing, going to the park, Burger King or they just go to his place and hang out) as for my hubby's Dad and his wife. They live 4 hrs away. For them to just to have us come and visit once or twice a year, come for birthday party's is enough.

    You have to decide how comfortable you are with what they want to do.
    Raeann11

    Answer by Raeann11 at 10:18 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • There is room for a lot things. I would consider him to be very lucky to have grandparents involved in his life.
    musicmom08

    Answer by musicmom08 at 10:18 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • I think it is normal and great for them to want to be involved. You can still go to the swim lessons. You may have to set up some boundaries if they dont respect your choices as a parent but if they just want to spend alot of time with him it is ok. My parents will pay for things for my dd and they are the prayer partners for her class every year at school. They come to swim meets and sometimes my mom will even go on a girl scout camping trip. You can never have too much family if they are good people! My mom takes my dd school shopping for supplies every year. It is a special thing they do every year and I am missing out on it but we do plenty of other things together.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 10:21 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • If you trust them, then this is a great situation for you and for your son. If there are certain things you want to do with your son, then let them know you want to be the one to do those things with him first. If you're like a lot of us, you may not have time or money to do all of the things with your child that you would like to do, and if that is the case the grandparents can help fill some of the gaps. Your son is very lucky to have grandparents who want to do special things with him. I'm sorry you didn't get to experience a special grandparent/grandchild relationship as a child.
    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 10:35 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

Answers / Parenting / Preschoolers (3-4)

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