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3 Bumps

I used to be one of "THOSE" moms...

The kind that when running into another mother that didn't have full or even partial custody of their kids, I would think to myself " What kind of mother could she be? She must do drugs, drink, run around all the time or just not care about her kids" That was until it happened to me. My older two girls are 15 and 13, and they've lived full time with their dad now for almost 3 years. It kills me, everyday. And no I don't drink, do drugs, run around and I love them more than life itself. The reasons? I remarried, had twins and my exhusband tells them if they come live with me he won't have anything to live for anymore. How does a mom go from being room mom, PTO involved, girl scout cookie mom, etc to not having her kids at all? It's better than it was, I try not to think about it too much. Just wanted to know if anyone else had a similar situation. And to let everyone know, don't judge. You never know were you'll be tomorrow


Asked by cmorbeauty at 10:45 AM on Sep. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Level 8 (270 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • it sounds like your daughter feels like she has to be loyal to her father.... she KNOWS that you'll always love her, and maybe thats why she is choosing to live this way.

    Answer by gracefulsky at 11:33 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • I'm sorry. It must be horrible for you to not see your girls every day :(

    Answer by arouthier at 10:49 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • i definitely know what you mean. my kids weren't taken away, but i just changed drs..... when i told my daughters' old dr, she flipped and became vengeful (medicaid is a sure pay) and called DSS on me, saying that ii was neglecting my newborn. i had to have my daughter admitted into the hospital because of this, to prove that she isn't being neglected. she was released the next day, but now i have to deal with DSS. it will be on my record for AT LEAST 5 years. and this happened just last week.

    Answer by gracefulsky at 10:49 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • I've never been in that situation. I just wanted to say that you should at least have partial custody of your older girls. At least they should come to visit. I hope they do, because you're still their mom even if they live mostly with their dad. All the best to you!

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:50 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • How heart breaking that must be for you. I cant imagine not tucking my 5 kids into bed every night. Most of the people I know personally who dont have their kids arenot worthy to be parents. Bad choices, selfishness ect. Thats why I am a little judgmental but youre right every situation is diffrent and we shouldnt do that.

    Answer by okmommy08 at 10:51 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • I just cannot imagine how hard that must be for you. I cannot imagine the idea of having to share my daughter every other weekend, let alone not having full custody! Hang in there. Do you at least get to see them?

    Answer by AmeliasMommy206 at 10:52 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • No judging here... I am kinda in the same boat and i am sure there are other women going through something like you are. I was that mom with my son.. he now lives in cali with his dad and i in another state.. I am trying my hardest to make the best out of it, days where i am in tears consistantly thinking about him too.. it's so very hard being away from your children. The funny thing is his dad was in prison when i was prego and the first 4 years of his life.. I wasn't the dope head he was.. Time to take a stand.. But i have some plans i'm going to be putting into action.. i will no longer sit here and be scared.. or let someone else control MY relationship with my son! my goal is to have my son here for next summer vacation.

    Answer by BobbieJo286 at 10:54 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • A 10 and 12 year old should not be put in a position by a parent to have to choose one over the other due to suicide threats. Is that what he was saying, right, he won't have anything to live for? I would not, could not give up my kids for any reason, that one especially. I'm sorry but I honestly don't understand.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 11:00 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • I am so sorry!

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 10:51 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • * Hugs * I am sorry. I think that's a very selfish thing for your ex to do to you though - so sorry...

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 10:51 AM on Sep. 2, 2010