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I'm so sick of my 3 yo being directly defiant and destructive...

So I made a cake for his b day this morning. He was picking at it and I told him no. I went to get dressed came out and he had eaten half the damn cake while it was cooling..
Everytime I tell him not to do something he delibaratly does it.
I have other kids and I'm at a loss. All my time goes into him because I can't leave him for 2 seconds. Or he will, throw toothbrushes in the toilet, feed the baby paper, go in the fridge(has a lock on it)and take food like butter and shove it in my couch, pour out the milk, climbed up and opened a locked cabinet at 3 am while we were sleeping and ate all the chewable vitamins, oh the list goes on. I don't need any judgemental comments right now. I feel so alone in this. I baby proof my house but he does it anyway, gets up at 3am to run around because he knows we're sleeping. I watch him constantly, it's all I do, and it's affecting my other kids. Time outs, spanking etc don't ph

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:37 AM on Sep. 2, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (9)
  • he's testing his limits on what he can get away with. Make it clear what you won't deal with and stick to your stance.

    Answer by Zoeyis at 11:39 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • I don't know why they call them terrible two's. We had the horrific three's as well.
    I can only offer a hug and tell you it gets better in a year or so. They just grow out of it.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 11:40 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • dont bash me for asking but do you spank? cause i would start at this point if you dont. the things he is doing are dangerouse to him and his his siblings. feeding a baby paper......i would give him one good wop on the butt, climbing a counter to get into a cupbourd or eating vitamins like candy both could hurt him badly i would do a good wop on the butt. im not saying bruise him or anything and i believe if you spank you should stay calm and only give one swat for each thing he does. but with my kids a swat makes them see real fast that im not a joke. and even if it takes 2 or 3 times they will remember that climbing the counter gets a swat, and you have to be consistant. i know it makes your heart break to see your child look at you like you hurt them but you have to turn around the dangerous situations hes putting himself and his siblings in quick. good luck.

    Answer by cassie_m at 11:50 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • oh sorry i didnt read that you do spank. well if he didnt respond to a pop on the butt then i dont know. for mine that the worst that could happen. my mom had some creative punishments for us growing was called the bird.....we had to stand a few inches from the wall facing it and lean our head into it and hold our arms up next to us, it only took a minut for our arms to hurt real bad. the bird kept us in line for years.

    Answer by cassie_m at 11:54 AM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • Don't know what to tell you...other than "I feel your pain". I'm starting to wonder if my son even understands that he's being punished when we put him in time-out or spank him or take away his toys.

    Answer by makelineerror at 2:05 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • my 3 year old is defiant also, but not to that extreme!! I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Is it possible to put a lock on the outside of his bedroom door at night? Sounds mean, but it's for his safety!

    Answer by Ashlynnsmommy07 at 2:21 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • Gosh that sounds pretty extreme. I really don't have any advice, maybe you could speak with your pediatrician for some help? Good luck mama, you sound tired.

    Answer by KTMOM at 2:32 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • WOw Im sorry. Be more strict with him.. take things away that he loves.

    Answer by sstepph at 3:19 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • Sorry you're having a hard time. I know this will sound like more work right now, but in the long run it will be much better. Stay right on top of these problems, punish them each and every single time, in the right way. There has to be a negative consequence for his behavior - one that really impacts him. If he doesn't like the results of his choices, he'll learn to make better choices. At the same time, reward (with praise, hugs, and kisses) his good behavior every time you "catch" him being good.
    You'll have to really be strict with him now in order to get these behaviors in check before they get worse. If he gets away with it AT ALL, he'll continue to do it.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 3:42 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

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