From what I can gather, she called me at 3 this morning, then 6, crying her guts out,he keeps saying he wants a divorce and from what she tells me, he is verbally abusive. He tells her he doesn't know if he wants to stay married, he wants a divorce,that she is too emotional,he doesn't know if he loves her, etc. He will not go to counseling and she has tried.He tells her she has to move out of the home . They have no children and he tells her he will not help her financially.He just wants to throw her out.(She always has a home with me if she wants). I have talked til I am almostblue in the face.This happens a lot and I dont' know what to say anymore. Any helpful words and please don't be bitchy.Its a shame I had to say that.I am anonymous for a reason.
Asked by Anonymous at 7:38 AM on Oct. 12, 2008 in Adult Children (18+)
Answer by fearful5 at 6:07 PM on Oct. 12, 2008
I am a soldier's wife and I have been through three extended deployments. I know this may come as a shock to you but a LOT of marriages go through this during deployments. When soldiers are overseas, it REALLY messes with their minds. They begin to question things. They often question career choices, marriage choices, lifestyle choices, religion, among MANY other things. Being deployed can sometimes make a soldier go through a type of early mid-life crisis. I suggest that she just tells him to wait until he gets home from deployment to discuss this issue. DO NOT MAKE A DECISON WHILE HE IS DEPLOYED. When he cmes home he will more than likely realize how crazy those thoughts were.
He will realize how much he has going for him when he gets home and he will be eternally grateful to his wife for sticking by his side. It will make their marriage stronger! Just tell her to take a deep breath and HELP just tell him how much she loves him. Tell her not to give in to any name-calling or arguing. Stay as positive as possible when communicating and send letters and care packages often. Tell her to stay strong and don't give up. Chances are things will be better when he returns home. Trust me.
Answer by Anonymous at 7:54 AM on Oct. 12, 2008
If he is already home and still wants the divorce, the military will require him to go to marriage counseling before he is allowed to divorce. The only way that they can get divorced without counseling is to get an uncontested divorce. Either way he is REQUIRED TO give her alimony. She will also continue to receive his health care benefits until either he or she remarries. The military requires that you be separated for one year and one day before you can finalize any divorce.
Answer by AvasMommy810 at 7:55 AM on Oct. 12, 2008
Answer by Anonymous at 8:08 AM on Oct. 12, 2008
Answer by Anonymous at 8:09 AM on Oct. 12, 2008
The best thing that she can do is contact her FRG (Family Readiness Group). Her FRG leader would tell her what options she has. The FRG leader is usually the First sergeant's wife or sargeant first class's wife. Usually any NCOs wife could tell her how to contact the FRG leader.J ust tell her to contact one of her husband's NCO's wife.
Answer by AvasMommy810 at 8:35 AM on Oct. 12, 2008
Answer by mommyof4ormore at 9:40 AM on Oct. 12, 2008
Answer by l.bicks at 10:39 AM on Oct. 12, 2008