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2 Bumps

I seriously need some advice here, 8 yrs. ago I got married & when I did I wasn't 100% all for it but we were such good friends treated me & still does treats me good & our children it's just I was never completly attracted to my husband. I know that sounds awful & feel bad enough about it but it's always been in back of my head, & now he's gained 80lbs. & It really bothers me

I did try& help him lose the weight but he doesn't really try.....would you stay in a marriage like this if your not really attracted to your spouse? Don't know what to do

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:05 PM on Sep. 2, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • That's tough because I was in the same position, however I think a lot more goes into attraction then simply looks. I'd take a look back and see what else could be there that's bothering you. My husband gained over 100lbs it was physically painful to even have sex with him and I swear that I've hurt my hips by doing so...so I started to refuse sex, other things happened over the years which led to me leaving and that's when he finally started loosing the weight, excerising and eating right.
    Since I've been back he continues and we try to motivate each other.
    Have you considered working out together? If you are the one that buys the groceries, then you have control of the things he can eat at home (for the most part) especially if you're cooking the meals, you can start there too.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 1:53 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • Thats the problem with "settling", instead of finding Mr Right.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 12:06 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • thats something you should of though about before your not supose to settle in with just the one that is ok for you your supose to search until you find the perfect one. and well thats a decision you need totake but i still think you shoudl of though of it before you had ids now you are going to leave him adn you have kids with him hat are going to be confuse on why was it that you guys broke up you need tomake sure you talk to your kids and give them help if they need it. and also i think your husband needs to know this i mean its not fair if he is giving it 100% and you are just giving it 50 because one part of yo wants to stay because your married adn you just decided to settle inwith hi for who knows what reason and the other side is tryign to get away because he gain a couple pounds. i think thats something you need to decide depending on how you feel
    Alejandra10

    Answer by Alejandra10 at 12:10 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • My husband has gained weight since we first got married, but I would never ever leave him because of that. If there were other serious issues, then I'd consider it... but not just because he gained some weight.
    SAHMomOf3

    Answer by SAHMomOf3 at 12:15 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • Sounds like you should not have married him. But you did. You made a life long commitment to him. Hes not abusing or cheating on you (that you mentioned) so you have no good reason to leave him. Marriages go through unhappy/bad times. Thats why its called COMMITMENT!
    nsrush83

    Answer by nsrush83 at 12:46 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • Well if I gained over 80lbs it would repulse my husband and we married for love. He wouldn't divorce me but he would berate me. Not so sure that would be any better.
    Go and seek counselling. See what you really need to do to get your self happy.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 10:51 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • It sounds like you don't have much there anyway & attraction isn't the only problem. I personally, if I wasn't happy, wouldn't stay in the marriage.
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 12:09 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

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