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MIL issues

so my mother in law and I have had a very rocky relationship and it seems to have gotten worse as the grandkids have gotten here. she always has something negative to say about my parenting skills and has even stooped so low as to tell my 6 year old to blatently disobey me. I have tried discussing this with both her and my husband politely asking her to bring things to me not the child and have told her that I am not her and that they are "my" kids not hers but nothing has helped. it has often caused fighting between me and my husband as well. what can i do to let her know that her "advice" is not wanted politely and without causing a blow up between hubby and I?

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kcangel3303

Asked by kcangel3303 at 12:26 PM on Sep. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (72 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • let her give all the advice she wants and continue to ignore it
    peanutsmommy1

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 12:32 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • I have tried that but she has come into my house and right in front of me and hubby told my son he could do something i had just told him he couldnt then she throws up the grandma card! I have stopped all overnight visits with her because after staying the night he would come home and tell me straight to my face that he doesnt have to listen to me because grandma says so! everything i do is "wrong" and im a terrible mother in her words! I'm just so hurt and sick of it all!
    kcangel3303

    Comment by kcangel3303 (original poster) at 12:36 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • You need to tell your hubby to back you up. HE should be the one going to his mother and telling her to back off. Cause no offense, but she's not going to listen to you. She obviously doesn't care at all what you think or say, so why should she back off when you ask her? Talk to your hubby and tell him all that is going on and tell him he needs to take care of it.
    an-apple-a-day

    Answer by an-apple-a-day at 12:40 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • I am so sorry you are in this situation. You and your DH have to talk this over and decide what is allowed and what isn't. It is your family and your DH should be united with you not his mom. Try not to talk negatively about the grandmother to the child, but stick to what you feel is best for the child. Eventually he will learn how wrong the grandmother is to be this way. I wish you all the best.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 12:41 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • I would talk to my husband, and tell him that he was going to have to talk to his Mom about the way she was undermining me with our son.
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 12:43 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • Your husband should back you up on this. Does he even realize how upsetting this is for you? He might not realize anything. You know how men can be. LOL Especially when it comes to their mothers. Maybe that's the way her mother-in-law was with her. I wish I could say that she doesn't realize what she is doing, but she knows all too well. I hope things get better for you.
    christy_lvr

    Answer by christy_lvr at 1:22 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • Mine didnt back me up. Mine x mil was the same way! Good luck. Now I dont got to deal with mil anymore
    seasnakesc

    Answer by seasnakesc at 3:56 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

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