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Am I wrong for wanting my husband to discuss things with before he takes his son to an activity that is not on his scheduled time?

My husband never includes me when it's regarding his son from another marriage. His son is in baseball and we get him everyother weekend. I got upset last night because I asked him if he found out what time his sons game was and he said at 12:45 and I am taking him to the game. I got mad because he did not discuss him taking him to the game with me first. I feel like I should be inform of such things. My step son does not live with us. I new my husband had planned on going to the game and I don't have a problem with him doing anything with his son, but I feel like we are not family because he excluding me from anything regarding his son. I always inform him of what is going on with my son and ask him if he has a problem with it or if it is ok whether he cares or not. I feel like it is commom courtesy just in case he has other arrangements for us. I really need help with this issue.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:31 AM on Oct. 12, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • Well, just like you said it's his some from another marriage/relationship. Maybe he feels that anything about his son should be dissuss between him and his sons mother.

    May by you should talk to your husband about how this makes you feel.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • I have had this problem before and I know how much this can hurt feeling like a outsider. How things got better with us....well first we had to learn to communicate effectively with each other-like you can't make this a fight but a discussion on how you want you all to be a family and how when you married him that to you your marriage is a partnership and partners share everything. Tell him that you would like to be included in his game and in his son's life and vice versa with your own child. Sometimes you catch more flies with honey so as much as you want to scream how you are feeling try to stay calm and talk-and make sure when you do there are no outside interruptions such as phone calls or guest- my husband and I try to sat aside 30 minutes before bed to discuss anything that we feel the other should be aware of and try to compromise if we disagree.
    AlabamaGrl

    Answer by AlabamaGrl at 2:48 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • It don't matter if he is from another marriage. Your husband married you, didn't he? Then you become one when you said "I do". You are helping in raising that child, are you not? Then you should have some sort of inlcusion of any matter pertaining to this child. I am a SM too. My husband includes me in everything and I him, when it comes to my children. And my children's step mom and I talk all the time about the well being of our kids...I call them ours because we are all raising them even if we have a split family. I wish my SD's BM understood the importance of that. But I do think you should sit him down and discuss things of that nature. Let him know you married him and that meant helping in the raising of his son. Good luck.
    Patrina1981

    Answer by Patrina1981 at 2:51 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • Not a lot of woman on here will agree with this, but it's the way things were meant to be. You are to be the highest priority to your husband and he to you. You need to be putting each other first and then together as a TEAM, as ONE, you are to put the kids first. Make sense? Some good books that you should read: Love & Respect by Emerson Eggerichs and Becoming the Woman of His Dreams by Sharon Jaynes. Message me if you want to chat, I have a stepson that lives with us, and our lives would be insane if we didn't follow these ways of living. And you could ask my son where he is happiest, my house or his bio-moms. He'll tell you here in a heartbeat.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 3:27 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

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