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Do you know what Criminal Domestic Violence is?

This quote really bothered me- It was in response to a woman asking if anyone had had a black eye. Her boss assumed that hers had come from her husband, and even though it had not, I commend his concern in taking the responsibility to ask.

"What a jerk to just assume that's how you got it! Unless you come to work bruised up all the time, then it's no one's business! Besides, one time I punched my husband in the face during a dream I was having (I swear I really was asleep!) and no one gave him a hard time for that! (In fact he works w/ mostly women, so they probably loved it! :)"

The reason that this bothers me SO much is because often a victim of abuse does not show physical signs of abuse, or they are rare... And when they are overlooked by people around them, the abuse goes on.

Do you know what constitutes as CDV?

Answer Question
 
ObbyDobbie

Asked by ObbyDobbie at 4:22 PM on Sep. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Level 34 (70,074 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • "What a jerk to just assume that's how you got it! Unless you come to work bruised up all the time, then it's no one's business! Besides, one time I punched my husband in the face during a dream I was having (I swear I really was asleep!) and no one gave him a hard time for that! (In fact he works w/ mostly women, so they probably loved it! :)"

    I should feel flattered to be quoted- but you took this out of context- I was in no way promoting domestic violence or the slime that do it! The person who asked the question was upset b/c her boss didn't believe her that it wasn't CDV. Not everyone is a victim- but since you are so sensitive about it- I hope you got the help you obviously need(ed)
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 4:32 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • And its not like she would have told the truth even if it had come from her husband. The victim not only deals with the violence at home, but also trying to cover up the shame that they allowed themselves to get to that place. :(
    karamille

    Answer by karamille at 4:33 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • I did not state that you were promoting domestic violence- those are your words not mine. Not an accusation.

    It is the mentality that it is not anyones business that I am bothered by.
    ObbyDobbie

    Comment by ObbyDobbie (original poster) at 4:34 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • My "mentality" is just fine thank-you! Again, her one-time injury is not her bosses or her co-workers, or anyone's business. Do we have an obligation to report suspected abuse? Obviously yes- we do. Do we have an obligation to jump to conclusions over a single injury- not so much. Now kindly find someone else in which to cyber-harrass!
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 4:40 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • I'm sorry you perceive anything and everything I have to say as harassment. That simply is not the case.

    I never stated that was "your" mentality, I made a generalization regarding why that mentality bothers me. If you apply it to yourself, I can not help that, but note for the record that I did not do so.

    Yes, people have an obligation to inquire each and every time they see a mark- more often than not, abuse occurs in a situation where it would be least imagined, and giving a woman the opportunity to take your help is the greatest strength you can offer... Most times the victim does not believe that people WILL help her, or fears what will happen (and rightfully so). Anyone who can abuse, can go further... it only takes on strike to kill.

    We are obligated as self aware beings to offer compassion, empathy, and provide help to those in need.
    ObbyDobbie

    Comment by ObbyDobbie (original poster) at 4:49 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • Wow- really? We will just have to let this one go as an "agree to disagree" topic. YOU quoted ME! I am just setting the record straight. End of discussion. Move on - Have a nice day
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 4:50 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • Nope.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 4:56 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • Wow. What this part of the site is supposed to do is answer questions. Ok. So I will do that. I have been through domestic violence. I had all forms happen to me. It is not fun, and the main thing that people need to know is this subject is very sensitive so all need to watch what we say ME INCLUDED ACTUALLY PROBABLY FIRST. But I want to let all know that because of what happened to me and the fact that I am a survivor, I have made a group on here that I would love for you to check out called Domestic 911. Help me in my cause pls.
    courtneyrogers

    Answer by courtneyrogers at 4:41 PM on Nov. 17, 2010

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