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Am I being unreasonable?

My DH & I have been arguing for weeks over the same thing & we just can seem to come to a compromise. We have 2 kids, 6 yr old son (technically mine, not ours), & a 3 month old baby. I'm a SAHM & by the time Friday rolls around I'm on my last nerve. I look forward to the weekend and having DH home to help with the kids & spend some time together (he works 40+ hours & goes to school 2 nights a week). However he looks forward to the weekends so that he can get things done, like mow the lawn, work on his truck, fiddle around in the garage, hang out with his brother etc etc. I have told him time & time again that I would appreciate it if he would spend more time with us on the weekends & help out with the kids more & week after week, it's the same story.Am I being unreasonable? Should I just buck up & get used to the fact that I'm the mother & it's my responsibility to take care of the kids 24/7?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:09 PM on Oct. 12, 2008 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Men are SO goal oriented, he really wouldn't, through any fault of his own, be able to enjoy spending time with you if the grass needs cutting or the truck needs washing. WOMEN, on the other hand, are able to enjoy spending time with hubby, even if we have laundry and lunches and school schedules and budgets to take care of. Is there a way you can work together on some tasks? I know that it is SO HARD being a SAHM with a newborn. Maybe there are a few little things you can do for him, that in turn he would want to turn around and do some things for you? Obviously, you both need some "ME" time, as well as "US" time. Can you get a sitter for a few hours, so you can just go to dinner or even a walk together for 1/2 hour? Or maybe you could get a sitter for a few hours during the weekday, so YOU'RE not as exhausted come Friday evening. Good luck!

    Answer by ChefMom94 at 8:32 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • No.....Men just don't understand how hard of a job we have......Instead of talking to him when you are already upset....ask if he can spend saturdays with you and the kids and work something out for sunday where he can still get things done.....You neeed time for you too! Ask if he can take the kids sat am so you can do things for you....good luck i know it suxs

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:11 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • Wow, I was there, did that, sahm, my husband going to school nights, golf league etc. I know how you feel. I don't think you are being unreasonable. What helped with me was sometimes, I would mow the lawn, we live in New England so I would shovel when it snowed...anything where I had my arms to myself. This would give him time with the kids and also a taste of my life. I know these are the funnest activities but it worked for me. Also, occasionally I got a day to myself to go shopping or to a movie with my mom & sisters. You need time to yourself and activities to look forward to. You are always a mom, it is a job 24-7, but that goes for dads too. Is it possible for you to occasionally get outfor the day ?

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:17 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • No, you certainly aren't being unreasonable. I'm in the same situation... Now that hunting season is coming up, I know I'm definitely fighting a losing battle! I agree with the Anonymous poster--- you should try talking to him about this situation when neither of you are upset or stressed. I hope that the two of you can come to some sort of compromise! Good luck! : )

    Answer by heather.huckaby at 1:19 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • No ur not being unreasonable. Talking when ur both calm is a gr8 idea bc it will give each of u a little more insight in2 the others feelings & frustrations. Maybe find some family activities u can all participate in (maybe a pumpkin patch since Halloween is coming up, an afternoon movie & McD's or eat & park, a picnic @ a local park (weather permitting) w/ kites or outdoor toys (bat & ball, football). But u also need quality x w/ ea other definitely (maybe dinner & a movie, bowling, art museum or maybe cards w/ friends). And 4 u, maybe a book club, a day @ the spa (all us moms love those lol) or a nite out dancing w/ ur gfs or co-workers). but either way, he needs 2 meet u halfway bc just as important as his hobbies & interests 2 him, urs r 2 u 2 he needs 2 rocognize them bc we all need x 4 ourselves.

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 7:10 PM on Oct. 12, 2008

  • Honey believe it or not if you are together long enough you will long for the days that he gets off his ass on the weekends instead of laying on the couch and driving you crazy.

    Answer by salexander at 3:53 PM on Oct. 13, 2008