Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

What do you do when you just hate your inlaws?

I think my MIL is a fantasic grandma and she watches my kids and we pay her. It makes me feel safe and I know they are well cared for. But aside from that I just dont want to be around them. I am not to fond of any of them because of all that has gone on in the past. They lie, talk crap about each other and still try to act like a giddy family, and I just cant do that. My BF will agree to go to bbq's and different beach things and I am just miserable at them. Some of them annoy me all day there just loud, cause playing, talk crap to each other, and get drunk. I just dont know what to tell him about me not wanting to hang out all the time with them. Hes not that close to them either and has had many problems too. it is just like normal in there fam and I hate it!

Answer Question
 
NIKKIANDYBABY

Asked by NIKKIANDYBABY at 6:17 PM on Sep. 2, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 7 (153 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • You need the crapburger group!
    http://www.cafemom.com/group/32665
    PhoenixFire

    Answer by PhoenixFire at 6:18 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • i don't hang around with them. i prefer to avoid things like that. i can always find a weed that needs pulling, rather than put up with inlaws that treat me in the fashion you described.
    nope, no time for that crap!
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 6:19 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • dull and how do i describe that to my hub
    NIKKIANDYBABY

    Comment by NIKKIANDYBABY (original poster) at 6:20 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • I stopped playing that smoke and mirrors show many years ago. I don't even go when my hubby does...he can put up with the condescending crap by himself.
    WoodWitch

    Answer by WoodWitch at 6:23 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • Just tell your SO, that when you all are invited to things with his family. You will not be going. I found out my DH's family does not like me. I told him You can go, but I will never go again. and that goes for them comming to my house to, they are not welcome while I am here.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:24 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • I have a feeling that the theoretical sh*t is about to hit the fan with my inlaws. They are constantly just trying to control our every move. Today is my MILs birthday. My FIL actually had the nerve to call and ask (mind you, this was at like 11 when both of us are busy- working or taking care of kids), WHY we haven't called to wish her a happy birthday yet. Little background here- she did not call me on MY birthday, nor did she call her own son on his birthday... I know, I could have been the bigger person and one upped her by calling her to wish her a happy birthday, but it just gets old. The past two years, we've bought her nice gifts or sent flowers (we live an hour and a half away) even though she doesn't call or anything on our birthdays. Today, we were both extremely busy... and we're broke this week (house payment week). This is just a small example of how she is though, she irks the hell out of me.
    SAHMomOf3

    Answer by SAHMomOf3 at 7:07 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • Since you say your husband also has problems with them, just tell him what you've told us, and agree that you will "pick and choose" the events you are willing to attend. I find that if there are events that will keep me occupied with the children more, then I'm not "stuck" sitting and listening to them.

    For example, when you go to the beach or a BBQ, make sure you bring toys and supplies for you and your children to entertain yourselves, and go play with them--make hanging out with them as brief as possible! You then are credited with attending the event, yet you can maintain some civility and make the most of it! :o)
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 7:43 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

  • When your SO agrees to go to family events, let him, but don't go with him. I can't stand my MIL, she's controlling, nosy and a huge gossip. I've stopped answering the phone when she calls (thank goodness for caller ID!) and don't with hubby very often when he goes to visit (only when he specifically asks and then I try not to have direct conversation with her). I do have to ask why in the world your MIL is expecting payment for spending time with her grand kids, that seems a little extreme to me.

    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 7:48 PM on Sep. 2, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.